1

  Jason Lofts

24  

Decriminalisation of prostitution ~ to optimise industrial fornication.

2

  Jesse Frankovich

21  

The adoption process = I'd choose top parents.

2

  Josiah Winslow

21  

I am also arranging ~ original anagrams.

2

  David Bourke

21  

Artificially enhanced breasts = Flat chest nicely raised in a bra!

5

  Scott Gardner

20  

Supremacist = "Trump is aces!"

6

  Rob Bretveld

18  

To tame a wife's ~ a waste of time.

7

  Larry Brash

17  

It was love at first sight = It's over, fast as twilight!

8

  View

11  

The sandwich = Chew and shit.

9

  turnip

8  

Pro-Israel = Polariser.

9

  Dharam Khalsa

8  

It was love at first sight = Vast "This is it!" afterglow.

11

  Rosie Perera

7  

Adoptee searching for birth parents = Hoping to trace brief partners. Sad, eh?

11

  Tony Crafter

7  

Triumphant = A Trump hint?

13

  Dr Charles G Waugh

5  

Yelling news: ~ "Newly single!"

13

  Christopher Sturdy

5  

They are the lowest of the low = They're the few, who stole a lot!

15

  Ed Pegg Jr

4  

Diplomatic ties ~ made it politics.

15

  Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

4  

Black bean fritters = Brisk fart can be let.

15

  Adie Pena

4  

Selfie sticks are banned from tourist sites = It sure matters. It's less friends in Facebook!

18

  Ellie Dent

3  

Love: loss and renewal = An end allows resolve.

19

  Tyler Severance

1  

Terrorist operations = It's one stir-a-pot error.

20

  John Ramos

0  

Nick's chewing ~ chicken wings.

20

  naturegirl

0  

Ages and stages in our lovely garden = Annuals and real veggies stood grey.

  Total points:

209 

from 35 votes     (DFE factor: 0.600)

1

  Tony Crafter

52  

Simon and Garfunkel's 'The Complete Collection' = Hear folk music talent on one compelling CD set.

2

  Josiah Winslow

28  

Whitney Houston = Not with us, honey.

3

  Scott Gardner

22  

Singer Whitney Houston = Then genius, now history.

4

  Larry Brash

18  

Graham Norton Show = Warn Gran... homo host!

5

  Rob Bretveld

13  

#OscarsSoWhite = We shoo racists.

6

  Ellie Dent

11  

The late George Martin and the Beatles = The team let band generate hits galore.

7

  Jason Lofts

9  

Viral nude videos = Valued diversion.

8

  David A Green

8  

Herbert Ward's 'Five Years With the Congo Cannibals' = Carnivore tribe chewing on raw flesh. That's bad, yes.

9

  Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

6  

Dylan Thomas: "Under Milk Wood" = Daily mood to drunk Welshman

9

  View

6  

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice = Fun? Just crap, waste! Ban damn movie!

11

  turnip

5  

Mars Needs Women = Send more new Mas.

11

  Julian Lofts

5  

US actor Blake Lively performs in film 'The Shallows' = Silly plot with a loco shark vs nimble female surfer.

13

  Adie Pena

4  

The American dramedy 'Whiskey Tango Foxtrot' = Dynamic Tina Fey works extra hard to get home.

13

  Dan Fortier

4  

Pink Lips Slightly Parted = Dippy Lass Kept Thrilling

13

  Jesse Frankovich

4  

Honored with a Pulitzer = Prize held: author won it.

13

  John Ramos

4  

Hear Matt in ~ The Martian..

13

  David Bourke

4  

Fleetwood Mac lead singer Stephanie Lynn Nicks = Female essentially now dated...no spring chicken!

  Total points:

203 

from 34 votes     (DFE factor: 0.500)

1

  Jason Lofts

33  

Donald Trump clinches GOP nomination = I'm hoping Clinton can stop rude old man.

2

  Julian Lofts

18  

The King James Bible gets translated into Emoji... = Here's 👿(Satan) talking: "I'm ♨&...

3

  Rob Bretveld

16  

Transgender bathroom laws = Haters toward gals born men.

3

  Adie Pena

16  

The airport and metro station in Brussels, Belgium = Multiple bombs shattered us, terrorising a nation.

5

  Jesse Frankovich

15  

Attacks in Brussels = Blasts can strike us.

5

  View

15  

How foreign politicians see Donald Trump = Pointing, we used Adolf Hitler comparison.

7

  Christopher Sturdy

14  

Trump - Make America Great Again = Take care - I'm rampaging amateur.

8

  Alan Yoshioka

12  

Donald Trump's slogan, "Make America great again!" = A golden ultra-magnate? Am a smirking cad, a poser!

9

  Josiah Winslow

10  

EgyptAir = Rage, pity.

9

  Rosie Perera

10  

If Trump were to be elected as President of America ~ I presume we'd better flee from creep; it is to Canada!

11

  David Bourke

9  

The Emirates FA Cup Final at Wembley Stadium, London = When Man-U side ultimately finds form, to beat Palace.

12

  Scott Gardner

8  

EgyptAir disaster = Sea trip is tragedy.

12

  Dharam Khalsa

8  

The Anagrammy site is back up and fully functional! = Finally!! By auction tips, luck & a fund: "Ars Magna" theme.

14

  Rick Rothstein

7  

Andrew Wiles won the Abel Prize for Mathematics = Incredible, a "WOW!", when I zap Fermat's Last Theorem.

15

  Ellie Dent

5  

The Christian Easter Festival = Relative fact is that He's risen.

16

  Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

3  

Republicans against Democrats = A Trump age is Clinton's bad scare.

17

  Tony Crafter

2  

US plans to systematically eliminate the IS cabinet = I can see it's a timely plot but... ISIL has many tentacles.

  Total points:

201 

from 34 votes     (DFE factor: 0.500)

1

  Larry Brash

32  

The presidential candidate, Donald Trump = Input this retarded man into a padded cell.

2

  Jason Lofts

28  

Fascist leader Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini = US billionaire Donald recreates same fanaticism.

3

  Tony Crafter

21  

The Prime Minister David Cameron = Verdict on the man is 'a dim premier'.

4

  Jesse Frankovich

18  

The cinema star Leonardo DiCaprio = A nice top role did rate him an Oscar.

5

  Rosie Perera

17  

First Lady Michelle Obama = Admirable clothes, family.

6

  David Bourke

15  

Computer scientist Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee = So, his prime job is merely "construct the internet"!

6

  Josiah Winslow

15  

Teenage musical artist Justin Drew Bieber = Just write, sing bad, be "masculine", reiterate.

8

  Julian Lofts

7  

The Australian Catholic Cardinal George Pell = He recalls groping a lad in a toilet. Ah, cruel act!

8

  Dharam Khalsa

7  

Reince Priebus = Bernie cries "P.U."

10

  Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

6  

Sir George Martin CBE = Big song career merit

10

  View

6  

Actress Sigourney Weaver = Guys view one star's career.

12

  Rob Bretveld

5  

Dr. Benjamin Solomon Carson = Mind, morals, can snore on job.

13

  Scott Gardner

4  

Former candidate Ben S. Carson = Can be endorser of damn racist!

13

  Christopher Sturdy

4  

Decayed nonagenarians = One is dead - Nancy Reagan!

15

  Adie Pena

3  

The actress Brianne Sidonie Desaulniers = Brie Larson is a star indeed in the U.S. scene.

16

  turnip

1  

Obama's Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland = Some Republicans err to mark me "Unamerican Dog".

  Total points:

189 

from 33 votes     (DFE factor: 0.485)

1

  Jason Lofts

51  

The German Nationalists = Insane lot hate migrants.

2

  Larry Brash

21  

Dexamphetamine and Ritalin = Ah....relaxed an impatient mind.

3

  Rosie Perera

19  

SXSW Online Harassment Summit = Man's sexist insults harm women.

4

  Tony Crafter

18  

International Women's Day = "Into men? No way!" rant ladies.

5

  Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

17  

Narcissistic personality disorder = Only star critics in press adored is I.

6

  Scott Gardner

14  

The Democratic Party of the USA = Society teach a hatred of Trump.

6

  David Bourke

14  

Brussels, the capital of Belgium = I.S. place bombs...futile slaughter.

8

  Jesse Frankovich

12  

The Metro Subway in Washington DC = Train system down now... a huge bitch!

8

  View

12  

Porsche Panamera Turbo S = Open both arms: a super car!

10

  Josiah Winslow

9  

President of the United States of America = I'd restate: Trump office set in stone ahead.

10

  Adie Pena

9  

The Republican National Committee = No chance to eliminate Trump albeit.

  Total points:

196 

from 34 votes     (DFE factor: 0.324)

1

  Tony Crafter

40  

I tried to log in to my PC last Sunday but it w... ~ you changed our password?” “Um... yes Tom.” s...

2

  Adie Pena

29  

THE LAST FIVE REMAINING PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEES: ... = 1. Crazy, intense and rich 2. Still TRUST a ...

3

  Jesse Frankovich

24  

President Barack Obama meets President Raul Castro = "American Leader Embarks On Trip To Cuba," press stated.

4

  Julian Lofts

16  

Businesswoman Wendi Deng's three most prestigio... = 1. Very old media mogul (dweeb) 2. An unctuou...

5

  Rosie Perera

15  

"Think green. Please consider the environment b... = Don't kill a tree using paper or ink, ninny! H...

5

  Jason Lofts

15  

... = 1. Skilled, sassy queen, wealthiest earner (pr...

7

  Scott Gardner

7  

The diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder = Rare psychosis is inciter of Donald T.'s grandiosities.

7

  Ellie Dent

7  

I wouldn't say my neighbor, Harold E Chesterfie... ~ where he then gaily fired a pistol heavenwards...

7

  Josiah Winslow

7  

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. = He hath begotten each garden, and the divine entering.

10

  Maurice Goddard

6  

Super Tuesday: Voters head to the polls, but no... = Republican lot have a lethally possessed chees...

11

  Dharam Khalsa

5  

"All the joy the world contains comes from wish... = As half the world's plight is in each man's se...

12

  David Bourke

4  

The former Miss World Cynthia Jean Cameron Breakspeare = Cherished person from Jamaica, knew Robert Nesta Marley.

  Total points:

175 

from 30 votes     (DFE factor: 0.400)

1

  Jesse Frankovich

40  

...

2

  Tony Crafter

23  

HEALING THE ANGER The senior veteran sagely said, "What is the good of war? ...

3

  Adie Pena

20  

...

4

  Christopher Sturdy

15  

The greedy pursue power, have a nationalist agenda, disregard for safety and no intention to think things through. Loo...

5

  Josiah Winslow

13  

If I had to give you a good answer, I think it's all simple. The nations hurt land and go through long and repeated war...

6

  Julian Lofts

11  

Donald Trump's a hedonist, a Frankenstein and a ranting pettifogger who won't listen to reason. Do you think he is the ...

6

  Rosie Perera

11  

Why does the unkind and hateful Islamic State have to strike an airport and an underground train station where fine hon...

8

  turnip

8  

I opine the answer is in the asked. Why argue your light's the only truth? Perhaps some feel good over their underst...

9

  David Bourke

7  

Astonishing, that in one generation, Christianity will surely have disappeared, disintegrated to nothing, got phase...

9

  Dharam Khalsa

7  

...

11

  Jason Lofts

6  

Georg Friedrich Händel: And though an atheist, isn't he thought to have taken only twenty-four days to pen his passiona...

11

  Ellie Dent

6  

TODAY, a nightmare: A shaken European city There are dead. Grief, anguish, unhappiness and tension too. So Lord,...

13

  View

4  

Huh, terror in Europe worsens and worsens, kills plenty of natives! Aggression enlarging, hatred deepening. Deathly ...

14

  James H Young

2  

What Handel writes: oh the people no longer dig their Christ. The man versus the head of state. It is a denial against ...

  Total points:

173 

from 30 votes     (DFE factor: 0.467)

1

  Jason Lofts

28  

... = ...

2

  Tony Crafter

25  

These are twenty Americanisms we know (from res... = Correct usage - amend these, you word-hungry...

2

  David Bourke

25  

A noted Australian psychiatrist, Larry, was con... = A man goes to see his psychologist and says,...

4

  turnip

16  

During the break in a summit meeting held on th... = The Soviet premiers Josef Stalin, Nikita Khru...

4

  Josiah Winslow

16  

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United S... = I, Donald J. Trump, a Republican egotist, sha...

6

  Ellie Dent

10  

On a winter day, deep in a dark forest, this ti... ~ The turtle tried over and over again, while a...

7

  Adie Pena

9  

Little Tony had been playing outside in their b... ~ Little Tony just replied, "Oh, alright," and ...

8

  Julian Lofts

8  

List of The Twelve Most Predominant Roles from ... = 1. "Hawkeye" - maniacal merriment, no inhibit...

9

  Dharam Khalsa

3  

Have you heard about the exasperated suicidal w... = Otherwise, he (the writer, now at peace), wou...

  Total points:

140 

from 24 votes     (DFE factor: 0.375)

1

  David Bourke

25  

Don't Let's Be Beastly To The Germans

2

  Josiah Winslow

22  

I'll make true art...

3

  David Bourke

15  

The Snake

4

  Adie Pena

14  

RUBY TUESDAY

5

  Josiah Winslow

13  

The Ten Commandments

6

  Tony Crafter

11  

DUST IF YOU MUST

7

  turnip

10  

The Elements Song by Tom Lehrer

8

  Josiah Winslow

7  

Invictus

9

  Tony Crafter

6  

HELLO DOLLY

  Total points:

123 

from 21 votes     (DFE factor: 0.429)

1

  Rick Rothstein

27  

I reached into her panties = I notice a hard penis there!

2

  David Bourke

18  

A finger up the arsehole = Often a higher pleasure!

3

  Jason Lofts

16  

Edwina Bartholomew's "vagina dress" dominates Oscars = Massive snatch logo sewn on robe is admired at Awards!

4

  Josiah Winslow

15  

Pussy milk = Musky lips!

4

  Adie Pena

15  

A scent of tuna = Feast on a cunt.

6

  Scott Gardner

12  

A penis transplant procedure = So, replace part in underpants?

7

  Christopher Sturdy

11  

America, you complete and utter bellends = "I came unelectable, yet rose", Donald Trump.

8

  Dharam Khalsa

9  

Realistic Penis Lipstick = I select prick; I stain lips.

9

  Larry Brash

7  

Hmm...can I get into your panties, please? = "Yes" meant "Help out, as I got crap in mine!"

10

  Jesse Frankovich

6  

The human digestion system = As tummy goes shit in the end.

11

  Julian Lofts

3  

Methane gas production = Pathogens do in a rectum.

  Total points:

139 

from 24 votes     (DFE factor: 0.458)

Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*

*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor')
DFE factor is (No of Noms) / (No of votes) for category

High Standings