| GENERAL | ENTERTAINMENT | TOPICAL | PEOPLES NAMES | OTHER NAMES |
| MEDIUM LENGTH | LONG | SPECIAL | RUDE |
1 | Rick Rothstein | 66 | Religious fundamentalist = Futile rituals in God's name. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 48 | Traditional wedding ceremonies = Two declaring "I do" need a minister. |
3 | Andrew | 35 | Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned = Her hormones can kill any who default! |
4 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 33 | A holy bible tells us the righteousness of God ~ but selfish George Bush heeds only oil totals. |
5 | View | 25 | The lost city of Atlantis = Honestly, is it total fact? |
6 | Rosie Perera | 19 | The separation of Church and State = Don't push the Creation as fact, hear? |
7 | Neil Ramsay | 18 | Trampolines = Minors leapt. |
8 | Larry Brash | 16 | Recuperating from a mastectomy = Urge to first accept one mammary. |
9 | Paul Pan | 12 | Italian lovers = Alas, not virile. |
10 | Tony Crafter | 11 | Hidden artifact = I hand-crafted it. |
11 | Don Rogers | 10 | Separation of Church and State = Ha! It cannot persuade Ashcroft! |
12 | aussie battler | 8 | Sustained = Sent us aid. |
13 | David Bourke | 5 | The ideal woman = "I am down-at-heel!" |
13 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 5 | Separation of Church and State = That sacred-profane hiatus con! |
15 | AlanY | 4 | Separation of church and state = Thousands panic, fear "theocrat". |
Total points: | 315 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.278) |
1 | Andrew | 53 | Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise = The finest skipper in Star Trek, a major space hit. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 40 | The 'Cappella Sistina' frescoes = Sit speechless in a place of art. |
3 | Tony Crafter | 39 | The Disneyland Resort at Anaheim, California = Children’s hearts at one in a fairy-tale domain. |
4 | Richard Grantham | 33 | Monty Python and The Holy Grail = Play on another old myth thingy. |
5 | Rosie Perera | 27 | United Feature Syndicate's "Dilbert" cartoon = It's one dotard frustrated in a teeny cubicle. |
5 | Don Rogers | 27 | Donnie Darko = A dork done in. |
7 | Neil Ramsay | 21 | A Nightmare on Elm Street = Her rotten mental images. |
8 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 18 | The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai = Hey, ace Indian lass first in the Booker! |
9 | David Bourke | 12 | Al Gore's movie 'An Inconvenient Truth' = So, cut in environmental overheating? |
10 | Larry Brash | 11 | The Australian Idol Finals = Hell! "Star" fails an audition! |
11 | Adrian Hickford | 10 | The Cole Porter stage musical 'Kiss Me, Kate' = Local Shakespeare? I must get more tickets! |
12 | Rick Rothstein | 9 | The William Tell Overture = A, well, true emotive thrill. |
12 | Scott Gardner | 9 | "A Modest Proposal," by Jonathan Swift = What?! Plan to enjoy brats/imps as food?! |
14 | View | 4 | Call Me When You're Sober, ~ my new beer\alcohol user! |
Total points: | 313 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.259) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 84 | A question to G.W. that he prefers to ignore: ~ When are these troops getting out of iraq? |
2 | Rick Rothstein | 37 | The Republican Congressman Mark Foley ~ prefers young, macho, black male interns. |
3 | Richard Grantham | 35 | The nuclear test in North Korea = Intolerant nut has rocket here. |
3 | Tony Crafter | 35 | Islamic Fundamentalism = Muslim fanatic's mad line. |
5 | David Bourke | 24 | The pop star Madonna Louise Ciccone = I plan cretinous "Adopt-A-Coon" scheme! |
6 | Scott Gardner | 21 | Halloween trick-or-treaters = Witch, skeleton... a real terror! |
7 | View | 19 | iPod turns five = It provides fun. |
7 | Andrew | 19 | George Bush's in the Oval Office = He's chief stooge? Unforgivable! |
9 | Neil Ramsay | 18 | Bush acknowledges Iraq comparison with Vietnam War = Ha! Quit now Warmonger, so we can help Arab victims kids. |
10 | Rosie Perera | 13 | Former South African President P.W. Botha = Corrupt apartheid man withers off bones. |
11 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 5 | The Dow Jones Industrial Average = Twelve thousand's a grade I rejoin. |
12 | Don Rogers | 3 | President of Israel Moshe Katsav = Admit his rape, lose Knesset favor. |
12 | Dee4j | 3 | James Bertakis = A strike jabs me. |
Total points: | 316 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.241) |
1 | Andrew | 68 | The President of the United States of America = Incompetent, hated head of state terrifies us. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 66 | The American President George W. Bush = We can agree he's not bright, I'd presume? |
3 | lawyer2U | 35 | Mel Gibson = Gin slob? Me? (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
4 | Rick Rothstein | 32 | The Hollywood Actor Harrison Ford = Ah! Too old and rich for worthy roles. |
5 | Tony Crafter | 30 | The singer Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll = Boasting remarkable hip-arse skill, I hear. |
6 | Neil Ramsay | 21 | Sir Paul McCartney ‡ pays current claim. |
7 | Rosie Perera | 17 | Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton = Shrill Democrat ran nation? Holy ****! |
8 | David Bourke | 16 | Nicholas Herbert = A horrible stench! |
9 | Don Rogers | 12 | Gloria Steinem = I'm not a 'girl', see? |
10 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 11 | Gloria Steinem = I'm no tease girl. |
11 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 4 | Chad Hurley and Steve Chen = Hey, each launched nerds' TV. |
12 | View | 2 | Marcus Banks = NBA arm sucks. |
Total points: | 314 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.222) |
1 | Rick Rothstein | 58 | The Gideons International = An interest in God in a hotel. |
2 | Neil Ramsay | 48 | The Americans' Central Intelligence Agency = An ethically negligent menace since Carter. |
3 | Rosie Perera | 40 | The International Gender Dysphoria Association = An operation, since son had other identity as a girl. |
4 | Mey Kraus | 34 | The Disneyland park = Kids ran, then played. |
5 | Scott Gardner | 23 | The Musee D'Orsay in Paris = My! Has Europe's art inside! |
6 | Tony Crafter | 22 | The Charles Darwin Research Institute = Natural science thirst is the draw here. |
7 | Sir T Aucscua | 21 | Ferrari Testarossa = Roars; tires are fast. |
8 | Richard Grantham | 20 | White Australia Policy = I outlaw his racial type. |
9 | Mike Mesterton-Gibbons | 14 | The Musee d'Orsay in Paris ~ is dreamy painters' house. |
10 | Andrew | 13 | I named nature's giant hilly Asian phenomena ~ inside Nepal "The Himalayan Mountain Ranges." |
10 | View | 13 | Islamabad = A bad Islam. |
Total points: | 306 | from 52 votes (DFE factor: 0.212) |
1 | Andrew | 62 | A ham sandwich goes into a bar and the bartende... = A horse wandered into a bar. Soon the bartende... |
2 | Tony Crafter | 46 | "The most successful politician is he who says ... = Call me a cynic, but I dispute this. In my eye... |
3 | Larry Brash | 45 | The five dead Amish schoolgirls: Naomi Rose Ebe... = A vile man Charles Roberts, in a frenzied mal... |
4 | Rosie Perera | 44 | "It is well that war is so terrible, or we shou... = Oh, it's too late, Lee. We're all worried. Bel... |
5 | Neil Ramsay | 42 | George W Bush said : "You know one of the harde... = "To War". To quote from a redneck cretin whose... |
6 | Rick Rothstein | 20 | Now tell me, what is the real purpose of the tr... ~ It's for when her tits begin to appear (men ho... |
7 | Mey Kraus | 13 | The singer Madonna Louise Ciccone-Ritchie takes... = Damn, I've imagined that fine boy with a basic... |
Total points: | 272 | from 46 votes (DFE factor: 0.152) |
1 | Tony Crafter | 58 | An undertaker was working alone late one night.... = A cardiologist died and was given a very elab... |
2 | Larry Brash | 46 | Three businessmen, an American, a Japanese and a... = During a world scientific meeting on Informati... |
3 | Simon Woodard | 28 | Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how ... = To relocate on a whaling ship for months did ... |
4 | Rosie Perera | 27 | A famous linguist once made the observation tha... = Look out, check that high school grammar. Obs... |
5 | Andrew | 26 | Mick and Pat were ambling home after a very goo... = Pat and Mick landed themselves a career at a ... |
6 | Paul Pan | 19 | "Shakira's music has a personal stamp that does... = A Nobel laureate fantasizes this red-hot Asia... |
7 | Don Rogers | 15 | Gilligan, Skipper Jonas Grumby, Thurston J. ... = The long-running isle-shipwreck network progr... |
Total points: | 219 | from 38 votes (DFE factor: 0.184) |
1 | Andrew | 75 | Genesis |
2 | Mey Kraus | 41 | The Oscar Wilde poem 'Les Silhouettes' |
3 | Tony Crafter | 35 | "If Tomorrow Never Comes" A song by Ronan Keating |
4 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 24 | Do We Become by Frances Howarth |
5 | David Bourke | 22 | I Don't Feel Like Dancin' - Scissor Sisters |
6 | Rosie Perera | 20 | Another Brick in the Wall. |
7 | Rosie Perera | 19 | "All Things Dull And Ugly" from Monty Python's Contractual Obligations Album |
Total points: | 236 | from 42 votes (DFE factor: 0.167) |
1 | Richard Grantham | 61 | The bride and groom = Get hard in bedroom. |
2 | David Bourke | 42 | The International Gender Dysphoria Association = One poor sod. Hairy arse, ten-inch genitalia...and tits! |
3 | Paul Pan | 34 | I rub on a clit ~ lubrication. |
4 | Mey Kraus | 21 | The Alliance of Sodomy Supporters = I do so amply prefer asshole to cunt! |
5 | Andrew | 17 | Putting a pair of socks down your pants = You stow props of a giant prick and nuts. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 14 | The USA PRO sports-brassiere = Supports sore breasts, I hear. |
7 | Rick Rothstein | 12 | Soft triangular patch of hair = Ah! Part of a fair girl's hot cunt. |
8 | View | 10 | The Negro lover = Long 'over there'. |
9 | Don Rogers | 6 | A nice tit = "E"! Titanic!! |
10 | Larry Brash | 3 | Personal lubricant = Plan on clit/arse rub. |
Total points: | 220 | from 38 votes (DFE factor: 0.263) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
|