55 votes
1 | palusch | 52 | The crime investigator = He interrogates victim. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 50 | A trained sushi chef = He's a tuna-fish dicer! |
3 | Deano | 37 | Asteroid threats = Disaster to Earth. |
4 | Tony Crafter | 28 | A mortal sin = Moral stain. (Awardsmaster's Choice Award) |
5 | David Bourke | 27 | A nine month gestation period = Oh no! It ends in great pain to me! |
6 | Rosie Perera | 22 | Cartographer = Graph creator. |
7 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 21 | Intellectual property rights = It'll partly protect her genius. |
8 | Don Rogers | 20 | Electrocardiogram = Miracle doctor gear. |
9 | Rick | 18 | Crime Scene Investigation = I see innocent victim's rage. |
10 | Joe Fathallah | 13 | English restaurant = "Lager has nutrients!" |
11 | View | 12 | The video camera = A home art device. |
12 | Toby Gottfried | 8 | Eating crow = Cite a wrong. |
13 | Larry Brash | 7 | Gaydar = Drag? Ya! |
13 | Dee4j | 7 | You're skating on thin ice = i.e., you can't get on his rink. |
Total points: | 322 | from 55 votes (DFE factor: 0.255) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 66 | 'Travel Guide To London' = I'd love to tour England! |
2 | Richard Grantham | 64 | The Complete Works of William Shakespeare = Whole script's a Marlowe fake, like the poems. |
3 | View | 35 | Actor Sidney Poitier = One Oscar. Pity, I tried ! |
4 | palusch | 26 | The model and actress Denise Richards ~ discards sad, tormented Charlie Sheen. |
5 | Tony Crafter | 25 | 'Shogun' - James Clavell's epic adventure story = Classic novel surveys the old Japan. True gem. |
6 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 21 | The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole - Sue Townsend = Seeing wet dreams of long unions with Pandora. |
7 | David Bourke | 18 | The EMI Abbey Road Recording Studios, London = Interior honoured by damn good Beatle discs! |
8 | Larry Brash | 16 | Irish comedian, Dave Allen = Dead male lives on in chair. |
9 | Scott Gardner | 15 | Miss Catherine Elise Blanchett = I'll be the actress in the cinemas. |
10 | Ice | 13 | Is "E!" violent ~ television? |
11 | Toby Gottfried | 3 | World Figure Skating Championship = Tripped faking Salchow, souring him. |
Total points: | 302 | from 52 votes (DFE factor: 0.212) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 54 | The Chicago millionaire adventurer Stev... = See, this noted flier loves to circumn... |
2 | Richard Brodie | 52 | Should Terri Schiavo's feeding tube be t... = I feel about her need to die but oh, s... |
3 | Larry Brash | 39 | The Michael Jackson court case = Teen claim: "He's just a cockroach". |
3 | Rick | 39 | The Terri Schiavo case = Starve her? It's a choice. |
5 | Tony Crafter | 38 | What is Tony Blair's current public image? = War enthusiast; grubby political mincer. |
6 | Don Rogers | 37 | "Androstenedione?" ~ "No indeed, Senator!" |
7 | David Bourke | 31 | The Star Spangled Banner = Arab plans strengthened. |
8 | Dee4j | 27 | The Easter Bunny is coming = His sugary content be mine. |
Total points: | 317 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.148) |
1 | Rick | 71 | The Norwegian artist Edvard Munch = Tortured hand-waving in "The Scream". |
2 | Scott Gardner | 44 | Sarah Michelle Gellar = I agree she'll charm all. |
3 | David Bourke | 41 | The singer and blues guitarist Eric Clapton = Regrets cocaine...but still standing up, I hear! |
4 | Mey Kraus | 40 | The US president Abraham Lincoln = Shot this learned Republican man. |
5 | Toby Gottfried | 31 | Yves St. Laurent = Style nuts rave. |
6 | Tony Crafter | 23 | Dylan Marlais Thomas = This sadly amoral man. |
7 | View | 22 | Miss Serena Williams = Win slam, smile arises. |
8 | Ice | 21 | Fat actress Kirstie Alley = Likely starts? Cafeterias! |
Total points: | 293 | from 51 votes (DFE factor: 0.157) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 55 | Eastern Africa = A safari center. |
2 | Rosie Perera | 44 | Burger King's Enormous Omelet Sandwich = Oh, malign new grub induces more strokes. |
3 | Toby Gottfried | 38 | The California Desert = Its air can feel red hot. |
4 | Scott Gardner | 34 | The My Lai massacre = America slays them. |
5 | Deano | 31 | The General Synod = Ensnare the godly. |
5 | David A Green | 31 | The American Association of Hypnotherapists = Ah, they hope to assist man in a soporific trance. |
7 | Dee4j | 18 | AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome)= Medic inquiry decided cause for many is ...men! |
8 | Rick | 16 | The United States Supreme Court = Procedures, statutes unite them. |
9 | palusch | 13 | Centers For Disease Control = Screen co-ed tart for lesions. |
10 | Larry Brash | 9 | The Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award = I dreamt of a medal win there... Later! |
11 | Tony Crafter | 7 | Last Post Ceremony = Solemn act, to Ypres. |
11 | David Bourke | 7 | The First World Gay Million Party = Wild orgy plot: Many a shirtlifter. |
13 | View | 4 | Charles Darwin`s `Theory of evolution` = Soul of vital, narrow, CHOSEN heredity. |
14 | Don Rogers | 3 | The My Lai massacre = Hamlet says, "A crime". |
Total points: | 310 | from 54 votes (DFE factor: 0.259) |
1 | Larry Brash | 100 | What a piece of work is man! how noble i... = What a fool is Mr Bush! how extreme in ... |
2 | Mey Kraus | 76 | Star Wars: Episodes I (The Phantom Mena... = It irks me how these digital movie ada... |
3 | Tony Crafter | 51 | Is the Northern Ireland peace process i... = Alas, IRA presence lends peril, threat... |
4 | Horrid Stretchy Pus | 23 | Some women, I wouldn't throw out of bed ... ~ but this is not true of Ann 'woeful' W... |
5 | David Bourke | 19 | The sisters Paula, Donna, Gemma, Claire... = A clan that demands that Irish Republi... |
Total points: | 269 | from 47 votes (DFE factor: 0.106) |
1 | Richard Grantham | 64 | The Passion and the Resurrection = Death upon cross, inter, then arise. |
2 | Don Rogers | 34 | The Crucifixion and the Resurrection = His end: horrific execution; return act. |
3 | JFrankovich | 30 | Easter bunny made of dark chocolate = From a neat coloured candy basket, eh? |
4 | Larry Brash | 28 | Jesus Christ dies on the cross with two... = One Jewish lad who survives so to see ... |
5 | Tony Crafter | 27 | On the road to Calvary = Have ton load to carry. |
6 | Rick | 22 | Sunday morning services = Saviour ends men's crying. |
7 | Dee4j | 21 | Here comes Peter Cottontail: hopping do... = Repent! Would my hope in the Christ not... |
8 | David Bourke | 20 | The Resurrection is just a myth = Nutter theory: "I *am* Jesus Christ!" |
9 | Mey Kraus | 17 | Gift basket for Easter = Offer tikes treat bags. |
10 | Deano | 8 | Happy Easter's... ~ apt phrase, yes? |
11 | Toby Gottfried | 5 | The Easter Sunrise service = Resurrect -- even as I see this. |
Total points: | 276 | from 48 votes (DFE factor: 0.229) |
1 | Mey Kraus | 79 | [A news story clip from the DeHavilland ... = Top Ten Reasons The Queen Is Ditching... |
2 | Tony Crafter | 61 | (The professor to his errant pupil) "... = Phew! A batty Oxford don, the Reveren... |
3 | David Bourke | 47 | "I am quite sure now that often, very o... = Many, many core voters in America now... |
4 | Don Rogers | 18 | ... = * "Managers"? Miserable! But -- are... |
Total points: | 205 | from 36 votes (DFE factor: 0.111) |
1 | Mike Keith | 85 | The essay on Mt. Fuji in Exotics and Retrospective by Lafcadio Hearn. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 55 | A Keats sonnet transformed it into 3 different poems. |
3 | David Bourke | 28 | Afroman - 'Because I Got High'. |
4 | David Bourke | 15 | 'Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee...' |
5 | Tony Crafter | 8 | He comes not with a clamorous gush... |
Total points: | 191 | from 34 votes (DFE factor: 0.147) |
1 | Adrian Hickford | 42 | Relationship expert = Rotten sex? I help pair. |
2 | Joe Fathallah | 27 | "The Sun" tabloid newspaper = Hands out bare, wet nipples. |
2 | Mey Kraus | 27 | Have safe intercourse = I cover these fun areas. |
4 | Rick | 20 | Isn't deeds of whores, trollops ~ the world's oldest profession? |
5 | View | 19 | Oldest profession = I sold for ten pesos. |
6 | Paul Pan | 18 | Autoerotic strangulation = True onanist goal: to cut air. |
7 | Dee4j | 16 | Anal penetrations = Learn to "tan" a penis. |
7 | Tony Crafter | 16 | Plays the pink oboe = Happily see to knob. |
9 | David Bourke | 15 | The red-blooded male ~ led a model to her bed. |
10 | Deano | 10 | Men get a ho ~ on the game. |
11 | Don Rogers | 5 | Furry fetish = Fresh & fruity! |
Total points: | 215 | from 40 votes (DFE factor: 0.275) |
Daniel F. Etter Memorial Award Points*
*Adjusted Points = Sum of (Points * 'DFE factor') |
High Standings
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The results above are provisional and may be inaccurate.