1st - Ellie Dent with:
We promote ~
to empower.
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Spiritual healing =
A ritual is helping
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Rotten storm is headed our way ~
the doomsayer tried to warn us.
Adie Pena with:
An architectural detail =
Actual tier in cathedral.
Adrian Hickford with:
Spiritual healing =
A ritual is helping
April G with:
The Holy Bible tells us to love one another =
Hello then, O brutal boys, lose the evil tone.
April G with:
Behold, I am making all things new =
God heals the limb in walking man
Dharam Khalsa with:
Political atmosphere in DC =
Complicated relationship.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Stuttering =
Rueing t-t-t's.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Older and wiser =
I learned words.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Older and wiser =
Senior dawdler.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Older and wiser =
In a word, elders.
Ellie Dent with:
Misery loves company =
PM's so evil, one may cry!
Ellie Dent with:
A tot smiles ~
lotsa times!
Ellie Dent with:
We promote ~
to empower.
George Missailidis with:
Anxiety issue =
Uneasy, I exist.
George Missailidis with:
Anxiety issue =
I exist, uneasy.
George Missailidis with:
Therapy session ~
praises honesty.
George Missailidis with:
I'm diagnosed with depression =
Mopiest dread showing inside.
George Missailidis with:
Plastics in the oceans =
This space is not clean.
George Missailidis with:
Long essay ‡
Less agony.
George Missailidis with:
Learning to master the piano =
A phenomenal artist to reign.
Jesse Frankovich with:
The animus =
Hate, in sum.
John Murray with:
Open carry laws =
A clown's prayer.
Josiah Winslow with:
Process of elimination =
No more copies, it's final!
Julian Lofts with:
Orthopaedic surgeons ~
operate on rough discs.
Julian Lofts with:
Diagnosed with depression ~
does need doping with a SSRI.
Julian Lofts with:
A man fights ~
fat shaming.
Meyran Kraus with:
Rotten storm is headed our way ~
the doomsayer tried to warn us.
Rosie Perera with:
Play pure rapid note on ~
a properly tuned piano.
Rosie Perera with:
Carbon neutrality =
Currently in a boat.
Tony Crafter with:
The phrase: 'A second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips' =
i.e: Chips threaten to spoil thin female's honed shape!
Tyler Severance with:
One + Two + Three + Four + Five =
Our vow to Fifteen here.
View with:
The significant girl =
Is flirting cheating?
View with:
The climate protest =
Top threat - ice melts!
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The Van Gogh masterpiece 'Wheatfield With Crows' =
That ripe-gold view's so fetching, we hear them caw!
2nd - Brian Taylor with:
English miseries are whiny ~
when Irish eyes are smiling.
3rd - Ellie Dent with:
Water Lilies, the Nympheas by Claude Monet =
Plants shimmer...beauty in the weedy locale.
Adie Pena with:
Andrew MacDonald's "The Turner Diaries" =
White and racist leaders murder on and...
Brian Taylor with:
English miseries are whiny ~
when Irish eyes are smiling.
Christopher Sturdy with:
This year's World Athletics Championships =
A silly temp in Doha is worth harsh sceptics!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Woman with a Parasol (La Promenade)" by Claude Monet =
Coy Madame applied an umbrella; son wore a town hat.
Ellie Dent with:
Beatle Sir Paul McCartney =
A patently cerebral music.
Ellie Dent with:
Monet's Woman with a Parasol, La Promenade =
I meant Madame, who now appears on a stroll.
Ellie Dent with:
Water Lilies, the Nympheas by Claude Monet
=
Plants shimmer...beauty in the weedy locale.
George Missailidis with:
Marvel Studios' Avengers: Infinity War =
Movie is fun and great. Witness rivalry!
Meyran Kraus with:
The Van Gogh masterpiece 'Wheatfield With Crows' =
That ripe-gold view's so fetching, we hear them caw!
Rosie Perera with:
Sony CEO tells Variety he'd remake "The Princess Bride" =
"Peerless! They'd destroy it!" he remarks. "Inconceivable!"
Tony Crafter with:
The Abbey Road album's anniversary rerelease =
Beatles remain very hearable years on! Absurd!
View with:
The American actor Adam Richard Sandler =
Comedian, later character in hard dramas
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The September Eleven Memorial in New York =
Silently mark one event I hope we remember.
2nd - Julian Lofts with:
Disastrous Brexit =
A turd exists - Boris!
3rd - David Bourke with:
The demise of Thomas Cook Group plc =
It closed...so for them, pack up, go home.
Adie Pena with:
Midland-Odessa, Texas shooting =
Six and one deaths. Got so dismal.
Adie Pena with:
Category Five Hurricane Dorian =
Havoc! You are in terrific danger!
Adie Pena with:
The American actress Felicity Kendall Huffman =
Her scam's main effect? A tearful lady in the clink!
Adie Pena with:
The whistleblower's complaint about Trump ~
will worsen that pathetic bum's problem. Out!
Adrian Hickford with:
Trump's "Sharpiegate" =
This super-great map!
Christopher Sturdy with:
So, here's a man pulling off one remarkable catch! =
Roller coaster fan, Samuel Kempf can be on a high :-)
Christopher Sturdy with:
Don't just book it, Thomas Cook it =
Cut most shook it, and job, took it!
David Bourke with:
The demise of Thomas Cook Group plc =
It closed...so for them, pack up, go home.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Indian woman gives birth to twins at seventy-three =
What strength! So, maybe it was Divine intervention.
Don P. Fortier with:
NEWS: Don's berated Ukraine =
Reassure Biden taken down.
Ellie Dent with:
Meghan is to champion female empowerment =
Got ME a man...I met a prince of men who helps ME!
Ellie Dent with:
This year's United Nations Climate Action Summit =
I admit hot air may continue, US scientist laments!
Jesse Frankovich with:
Whistleblower complaint =
Well now, problematic, this!
John Murray with:
Xavier Bettel said ~
"Brexit deal - save it!"
Julian Lofts with:
Disastrous Brexit =
A turd exists - Boris!
Julian Lofts with:
Brexit delay ~
axed liberty.
Julian Lofts with:
Tennis player Bianca Andreescu, a ~
Canadian, aces inept burly Serena.
Julian Lofts with:
Gareth 'Alfie' Thomas has AIDS =
Oh, it's a life drama. He's aghast!
Phil Carmody with:
Greta Thunberg's "How dare you?!" =
Brag "US - you wronged the earth"
Rosie Perera with:
Trump invited Taliban leaders to US for peace talks =
Let no terrorists at Camp David! Unspeakable! Futile!
Rosie Perera with:
The retail chains asking customers not to open carry =
No guns in this market; a practice only to scare others.
Rosie Perera with:
"How dare you?!" -- Greta Thunberg =
Why rebut her good rage at UN?
Rosie Perera with:
The whistleblower complaint was just delivered =
Await the lot. Evil Trump's job will end. He's screwed!
Rosie Perera with:
A critic smiles: ~
" 'Climate crisis'? :-)"
Tyler Severance with:
Dorian =
Do Rain.
View with:
Hurricane Dorian =
O, rain churned air!
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg =
One teen bringing alarm to the errant UN.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
The late President Robert Mugabe =
The embittered, brutal personage.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
The President of Brazil, Jair Messias Bolsonaro =
A liar is behind major blazes set in poor forests.
Adie Pena with:
Donald Trump =
Dump NRA dolt!
Adie Pena with:
Todd Mitchell Palin and Sarah Louise Palin = I'd drop all that Hell and an inimical spouse!
Brian Taylor with:
Trudeau in brownface =
In awe of crude turban.
Christopher Sturdy with:
Caroline Spelman =
One's an MP, I recall.
David Bourke with:
Richard Theodore Otcasek =
He rocked radio to The Cars!
David Bourke with:
Greta T. =
Target.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Greta =
Great!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg =
"In general, men bring on threat to nature."
Dharam Khalsa with:
Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg =
One teen bringing alarm to the errant UN.
Ellie Dent with:
The late President Robert Mugabe =
The embittered, brutal personage.
Ellie Dent with:
Richard Otcasek = This Car croaked.
Ellie Dent with:
Young Greta Thunberg =
Green, but tough...angry.
John Murray with:
Gary Winston Lineker OBE =
I earn tons boring weekly
Julian Lofts with:
The country singer Emmylou Harris =
Hair's shiny grey colour men mutter.
Julian Lofts with:
Victoria Caroline Beckham =
Thick bore, a vile carcinoma.
Meyran Kraus with:
The President of Brazil, Jair Messias Bolsonaro =
A liar is behind major blazes set in poor forests.
Rosie Perera with:
Climate Activist Greta Thunberg =
Better tactic: giving us the alarm.
Tony Crafter with:
Activist, Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg ~
ranting on TV, in green trainers, about the climate.
View with:
Old Albert Flick =
Bold killer! Fact.
1st - Tony Crafter with:
1. Labour Party
2. The Conservatives
3. Liberal Democrats
=
1. That Corbyn-led cartel
2. PM Boris is a rave!
3. EU love-rats.
2nd - Julian Lofts with:
Spinal stenosis ~
isn't so painless.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The Sydney Opera House in NSW, Australia =
Your sunny sail shapes on a wide theatre.
Adie Pena with:
The Sydney Opera House in NSW, Australia =
Your sunny sail shapes on a wide theatre.
Adrian Hickford with:
The British Watch and Clockmaker's Guild =
I will check standards back through time.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Harvard University =
Hurry, visit and rave!
Ellie Dent with:
Total shock over ~
Thos. Cook Travel.
Julian Lofts with:
Spinal stenosis ~
isn't so painless.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant Disaster =
Errors (and then corny lies) blew that place up.
Meyran Kraus with:
The September Eleven Memorial in New York =
Silently mark one event I hope we remember.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Chevrolet Silverado =
Lord! Thieves love the car.
Rosie Perera with:
Skolstrejk fÖr klimatet =
Folks strike, jolt market.
Rosie Perera with:
The United Nations Climate Action Summit 2019 =
As intent: limit CO2 amount emitted (US, China): 10, 9, ...
Tony Crafter with:
1. Labour Party
2. The Conservatives
3. Liberal Democrats
=
1. That Corbyn-led cartel
2. PM Boris is a rave!
3. EU love-rats.
Tyler Severance with:
The Revelations of Jesus Christ =
Reveal this for The Son's justice!
Tyler Severance with:
The Department of Homeland Security =
Plenty of them trained mercs head out.
View with:
Harvard University =
Survive in a hard try!
1st - Ellie Dent with:
It is well known that The Children of Israel wandered around the desert for
a very long time...for forty years.
~
Lord, all grew hotter, dirtier, weary. Even then, in those early, far-off
days, the men wouldn't ask for directions.
2nd - Dharam Khalsa with:
A weasel stops into a bar. The bartender says, "In all my years of tending bar, I've never had a weasel stop by! What would you like?"
~
The steady and valiant weasel yearns for a tame bubbly drink today.
(I warn, the answer is really obvious!)
"Pop" goes the weasel.
3rd - Adie Pena with:
The Ex-Wives of Boris Johnson...
1. Allegra Mostyn-Owen
2. Marina Wheeler
...and His Current Girlfriend
3. Carrie Symmonds
=
1. Met in Oxford; sorrier embarrassment!
2. Anti-rich lawyer gave him four children
3. She's seen all; now enjoys Downing.
Adie Pena with:
The Ex-Wives of Boris Johnson...
1. Allegra Mostyn-Owen
2. Marina Wheeler
...and His Current Girlfriend
3. Carrie Symmonds
=
1. Met in Oxford; sorrier embarrassment!
2. Anti-rich lawyer gave him four children
3. She's seen all; now enjoys Downing.
Dharam Khalsa with:
A weasel stops into a bar. The bartender says, "In all my years of tending bar, I've never had a weasel stop by! What would you like?"
~
The steady and valiant weasel yearns for a tame bubbly drink today.
(I warn, the answer is really obvious!)
"Pop" goes the weasel.
Dharam Khalsa with:
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes=
Peers at a gala may think the president is sharp, until he opens his huge flytrap, and thus removes all doubt! Ow!
Ellie Dent with:
It is well known that The Children of Israel wandered around the desert for
a very long time...for forty years.
~
Lord, all grew hotter, dirtier, weary. Even then, in those early, far-off
days, the men wouldn't ask for directions.
George Missailidis with:
"Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character." - Albert Einstein
=
Insight: I'm certain that this case pieces together why the elite Nikola Tesla was smart albeit pretty insane, correct?
Julian Lofts with:
Donald Trump's children:
Don Junior
Eric
Ivanka
Tiffany
Barron
=
Bravo - a hard Don Juan
Drip
Redneck
MILF
Forlorn
Autistic ninny.
Meyran Kraus with:
The Top Grossing Movies Of All Time
1. Avengers: Endgame
2. Avatar
3. Titanic
4. Star Wars: The Force Awakens
5. Avengers: Infinity War
=
What great ones do we have...
5 CGI-feasts
4 War fantasies
3 Geek-magnets
2 Cameron vanity films
1 VR-set trip
NO original narrative.
Tony Crafter with:
"Democracy is government of the people, by the people, for the people." - Abraham Lincoln
=
"Eh? People? The common bloody people? Tch, they're an irrelevance.
PS: Bog off." - Parliament
1st - Dharam Khalsa with:
Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died! - Nikola Tesla =
The colors that shine as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet mix and manifest as whiteness, which is an antidote to darkness. Thus, in this fashion, if the nations work together, in theory, they may each shine with ease.
2nd - Adie Pena with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
FIAT LUX
"At the onset, I created the heaven,
An icy earth with no form.
A sky so inky on a sea so nigrescent.
So lonesome within
I said, 'Let there be light!'
There it was: Shiny, finished –
Earth had sunshine
With moonglow and starshine." - God
3rd - George Missailidis with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
See how I do not know what that inventor/engineer is talking about here exactly? I say he is on a different channel than me with his smartness, high intelligence and other tests or studies. Oh, his mind is way too ahead of his years!
Adie Pena with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
FIAT LUX
"At the onset, I created the heaven,
An icy earth with no form.
A sky so inky on a sea so nigrescent.
So lonesome within
I said, 'Let there be light!'
There it was: Shiny, finished –
Earth had sunshine
With moonglow and starshine." - God
Adrian Hickford with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
The Nihilist
Everything is Dark.
A wicked shadow.
That sinister silhouette.
A nonexistent glimmer.
An eyeless infant.
Human. Rotten.
Fiendish. Faithless.
Chooses anarchy.
As it awaits death.
Nowhither. Nowhere.
Boyhood gone.
...Gone...
Christopher Sturdy with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
How sad to call him a nutter with inane nonsense and insane notions.
Yes, maybe he is high as a kite too?
So here it is, the thesis: "How this highly gifted inventor changed the world of mankind" - you see, he was in fact extra-terrestrial!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
Rehash: This session, he acknowledged no one achieves immortality. Yet, honestly, I think he's nuts, and shows he was a resident of a high identical earth orbiting in union with a distant star elsewhere, at another time, off oxygen!
Dharam Khalsa with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
Indian Tagore said, "Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark."
One newer maxim went, "No situation is so dark that there is not a ray of light."
So, why are men negative? Shine on, honey, shine on! Hey, choose success!
Dharam Khalsa with:
Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died! - Nikola Tesla=
The colors that shine as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet mix and manifest as whiteness, which is an antidote to darkness. Thus, in this fashion, if the nations work together, in theory, they may each shine with ease.
Ellie Dent with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
How intense this man of ideas is! Hardly a ray of sunshine. Waxing lyrical to start, I see. Then, wait: when he writes in the same vein as this, he'd kiss goodbye to cheer. Oh dear. OK, so is the light at the end of the tunnel an oncoming train??
Ellie Dent with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source
of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
Oh, insanity? A nonsense? Why, take an awesome Irishman, see how a humorist thinks in his nonsense offering:
"God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, tho' the Electricity Co. said He'd have to wait 'til Thursday for an extension."
George Missailidis with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
See how I do not know what that inventor/engineer is talking about here exactly? I say he is on a different channel than me with his smartness, high intelligence and other tests or studies. Oh, his mind is way too ahead of his years!
Jesse Frankovich with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
Egad! Honestly now, this is some oafish thesis this nitwit had. See, I contend there is more than enough wicked darkness! And anyhow, I show there are in fact tons of humans (nearly eight billion) existing on Earth that are yet alive!
Julian Lofts with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
"Haha, that is horseshit! Why? I founded X.com, I harness renewable energy with no hesitation, I throttle annoying antagonistic shitheads and, if I design rockets, then I send these to Mars, I want to live for always. Heehee!" -
Elon Musk.
Meyran Kraus with:
Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla =
Nah, MONEY is where it's at. Yeah, Tesla's saying it's not, but heck, he died alone after he went insane, while I got rich and famous with his inventions AND got to screw a rather hot sixteen-year-old. This light has shone for me, Nik! - Edison
Tony Crafter with:
Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
"'Ray of Light', Madonna's fine nineties album, mixes heady dance songs with ones of an ethereal, healing nature. She is in good voice here, too! Worth a listen."
Whew! So, that is what the icon's starry-eyed adherents think?
I think it's shit.
View with:
"Everything is Light. In one of its rays is the destiny of the nations, each nation has its own ray in that great source of light, which we see, like the Sun. And remember, there is no man who has existed and who has not died!" - Nikola Tesla
=
Man's existence is like a leaf in the wind.
We are grains in macrocosm. Any grain has his tone, his noise, his taste!
OK, what now?
Yet, a hothead, never forget: The only thing that is surest in our LIFE is the DEATH!
Nobody withholds the end!
1st - David Bourke with:
Thirty ways to spot Americans traveling abroad:
1. Grown men wearing shorts
2. Requesting ice in drinks
3. Wearing baseball caps (often backwards)
4. Wearing white socks
5. Perfectly straight pearly whites
6. Walking while eating
7. Not understanding the Metric System
8. Just not caring about Soccer (aka Football)
9. Going to McDonald's
10. Drinking too much
11. Prudishness about nudity
12. Talking to strangers
13. Oversharing your feelings
14. Hard applauding
15. Tipping too much
16. Fanny packs
17. Your accent
18. Trying someone else's accent
19. Not knowing any foreign languages
20. Loudness
21. Not knowing the local customs
22. Often (but not always) overweight
23. Ordering your coffee "To Go"
24. Leaving a mess in the hotel
25. Traveling with too much stuff
26. Glued to your phone
27. Too many selfies
28. Littering
29. Trying to haggle
30. Flaunting your wealth
=
Thirty ways to spot Brits on holiday:
1. Getting paralytic
2. Shouting "Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!"
3. Doing a "conga"
4. Riding on the luggage conveyor
5. Union Jack shorts
6. "Kiss Me Quick" hats
7. Saying "What's this, mate, Monopoly money?"
8. Taunting (to Indian waiters) "Oi! Gandhi!"
9. Regurgitating curry
10. Asking for cockles 'n' chips
11. Retching
12. Walnut-tan face
13. Worn-out Y-Fronts
14. "Budgie smuggler" trunks
15. Sunburned chest
16. Fat pale legs
17. Backside-revealing strides
18. Swimming backstroke in packed pools
19. Bellyflopping into the pool
20. Flatulency
21. Wanton dogging
22. Wolf-whistling to passers-by
23. Nostalgia for Butlins
24. Vocally ignorant of all other culture
25. Dr. Martens
26. Affected continental accent
27. Saying "Where's the snout?"
28. Lavatory humour
29. Shouting "Four-Two!" at "fat" Germans
30. Saying "Don't mention the War!"
...and the men are even worse.
2nd - Tony Crafter with:
Into the pub shuffles Paddy McGee, looking like he has been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"Oh my goodness, McGee, what on earth happened to you?" asks the bartender.
"Oi had a terrible foight with Fergus O'Connor last noight," says Paddy.
"That little shite O'Connor?" scoffs the bartender, "He couldn't inflict that sort of damage on a person, he must have had somethin' in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it too."
"Well, McGee," replies the bartender, "you should've defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That oi did," replies Paddy. "Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it is too, but useless in a foight."
=
After living in the remote countryside all his life, Paddy Flint, an old Irishman decides it's about time he saw Dublin.
Once there, he goes into a shop, picks up a mirror and looks in it.
Never having seen one before, he says to the face looking back at him. 'Well, how about that. Uncanny! 'Tis only a picture of me old dad!'
A gleeful Paddy buys the mirror, convinced it's his dad, but on the way home he remembers that Brenda, his wife, had always hated his dad, so he hangs it up in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he has a look at it.
Brenda gets suspicious about Paddy's trips to the shed. So, one day after Paddy had left, she goes to the shed and finds the mirror.
Looking into the glass she rants, "Ha! So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' round with!"
3rd - Dharam Khalsa with:
A senior retired married couple learn to text and say "Hey" on their iPhones. If Ursuline is the romantic type, Mike, her husband, is seemingly the serious type.
One day, a Sunday, Ursuline goes out to a museum, invited by a younger female friend. She decides to send a text message affirming her undying love.
~
She sends this text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dream.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
Adie Pena with:
Top Ten Ugliest Animals
1. Blobfish
2. Giant Chinese salamander
3. Proboscis monkey
4. Californian condor
5. Hagfish
6. Naked mole rat
7. Roti Island snake necked turtle
8. Aye-aye
9. Monkfish
10. Flightless dung beetle=
1. Unsightly Tasmanian
2. Big edible benefits
3. Huge misshapen nose
4. They effortlessly hiss
5. Leaking snot
6. Crinkled kind
7. Indonesian
8. Madagascar lemur
9. Take food from the Atlantic Ocean
10. Black poo roller.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you."
Then, in return, the husband sends her a short, uncomplicated text:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
April G with:
In The Bible Mysteries and Bible Meanings.
The Great Reality is the ONE expressing itself as the MANY, and the MANY recognizing themselves as the ONE.
My all-time favorite book
Written in 1913
by Judge Thomas Troward=
Lambs,
Thy Ether births the timely matrix;
it's matter energized and entwined by a thinking and alive essence
Heavenly origin,
Nameless progenitor,
Ageless infinity,
Be tame, Lamb
Soft thoughts bore awesome joy
David Bourke with:
Thirty ways to spot Americans traveling abroad:
1. Grown men wearing shorts
2. Requesting ice in drinks
3. Wearing baseball caps (often backwards)
4. Wearing white socks
5. Perfectly straight pearly whites
6. Walking while eating
7. Not understanding the Metric System
8. Just not caring about Soccer (aka Football)
9. Going to McDonald's
10. Drinking too much
11. Prudishness about nudity
12. Talking to strangers
13. Oversharing your feelings
14. Hard applauding
15. Tipping too much
16. Fanny packs
17. Your accent
18. Trying someone else's accent
19. Not knowing any foreign languages
20. Loudness
21. Not knowing the local customs
22. Often (but not always) overweight
23. Ordering your coffee "To Go"
24. Leaving a mess in the hotel
25. Traveling with too much stuff
26. Glued to your phone
27. Too many selfies
28. Littering
29. Trying to haggle
30. Flaunting your wealth
=
Thirty ways to spot Brits on holiday:
1. Getting paralytic
2. Shouting "Ere we go, 'ere we go, 'ere we go!"
3. Doing a "conga"
4. Riding on the luggage conveyor
5. Union Jack shorts
6. "Kiss Me Quick" hats
7. Saying "What's this, mate, Monopoly money?"
8. Taunting (to Indian waiters) "Oi! Gandhi!"
9. Regurgitating curry
10. Asking for cockles 'n' chips
11. Retching
12. Walnut-tan face
13. Worn-out Y-Fronts
14. "Budgie smuggler" trunks
15. Sunburned chest
16. Fat pale legs
17. Backside-revealing strides
18. Swimming backstroke in packed pools
19. Bellyflopping into the pool
20. Flatulency
21. Wanton dogging
22. Wolf-whistling to passers-by
23. Nostalgia for Butlins
24. Vocally ignorant of all other culture
25. Dr. Martens
26. Affected continental accent
27. Saying "Where's the snout?"
28. Lavatory humour
29. Shouting "Four-Two!" at "fat" Germans
30. Saying "Don't mention the War!"
...and the men are even worse.
Dharam Khalsa with:
A senior retired married couple learn to text and say "Hey" on their iPhones. If Ursuline is the romantic type, Mike, her husband, is seemingly the serious type.
One day, a Sunday, Ursuline goes out to a museum, invited by a younger female friend. She decides to send a text message affirming her undying love.
~
She sends this text:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dream.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you."
Then, in return, the husband sends her a short, uncomplicated text:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
Dharam Khalsa with:
How to Avoid Mixing Your Metaphors
by poet Brian Bilston
It's not rocket surgery.
First, get all your ducks on the same page.
After all, you can't make an omelette
without breaking stride.
Be sure to watch what you write
with a fine-tuned comb.
Check and re-check until the cows turn blue.
It's as easy as falling off a piece of cake.
Don't worry about opening up
a whole hill of beans:
you can burn that bridge when you come to it,
if you follow where I'm coming from.
Concentrate! Keep your door closed
and your enemies closer.
Finally, don't take the moral high horse:
if the metaphor fits, walk a mile in it. =
Yogi-isms
Thoughtful tidbits by wise, but eccentric figure Yogi Berra
Re: economic cutbacks - "A nickel ain't worth a dime any more."
With insight - "You can't think and hit at the same time."
Re: helpful car traffic clue - "When you come to a fork in the road take it."
Ruefully, when fouls would be brought up - "We made too many wrong mistakes."
Re: fan/hate mail - "Never answer an anonymous letter."
Re: low ballfield attendance - "If people don't come to the ballpark, how are you gonna stop them?"
Wisecrack to the boy who said, "You look cool!" - "You don't look so hot yourself."
Re: spring batting exercise - "Pair off in threes."
Dharam Khalsa with:
Various symptoms of Paranoia, a serious personality disorder:
* A feeling that others have hidden motives and/or are out to cause you harm.
* Doubting the loyalty of others to you.
* Jumping to the wrong conclusions.
* Being hypersensitive to criticism.
* Having trouble working with others.
* Being quick to become angry and/or having hostility.
* Becoming detached and socially isolated.
* Being super-argumentative and/or super-defensive.
~
Signs:
* Vastly devolved, disheveled.
* Echoing obsolete suspicions.
* Vivid bragging to hold impact.
* Backing down, caving in.
Good quotes:
"Are those conspirators that you spy through your window, or is it a mirror reflecting the chattering parasites in your mind?"
"The more you think of an imaginary problem, the more you feel as though it's real."
"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face."
Dharam Khalsa with:
Thirty ways to spot Americans traveling abroad:
1. Grown men wearing shorts
2. Requesting ice in drinks
3. Wearing baseball caps (often backwards)
4. Wearing white socks
5. Perfectly straight pearly whites
6. Walking while eating
7. Not understanding the Metric System
8. Just not caring about Soccer (aka Football)
9. Going to McDonald's
10. Drinking too much
11. Prudishness about nudity
12. Talking to strangers
13. Oversharing your feelings
14. Hard applauding
15. Tipping too much
16. Fanny packs
17. Your accent
18. Trying someone else's accent
19. Not knowing any foreign languages
20. Loudness
21. Not knowing the local customs
22. Often (but not always) overweight
23. Ordering your coffee "To Go"
24. Leaving a mess in the hotel
25. Traveling with too much stuff
26. Glued to your phone
27. Too many selfies
28. Littering
29. Trying to haggle
30. Flaunting your wealth
=
1. Shorts are for tykes (or the Ganges)
2. Local water may be a danger
3. "MAGA" and cowboy hats
4. Especially with your sandals
5. Orthodontics or tooth whitening
6. Distinctly American lunch
7. Most countries use it
8. Indifference to fans' pastime
9. "Egg cheeseburger" (townsfolk giggle)
10. Groggy drunk kids
11. Giggling about Raphael in the museum
12. Shallow chat
13. Unloading about your marriage
14. Indiscreet clapping
15. Why, when wait staff is usually paid a living wage?
16. For safekeeping, try a knapsack or clutch
17. Funny, but try to control it.
18. Tasteless ninny
19. Unique to US
20. Control the rowdy belligerence, TV's volume.
21. Note town manners
22. Higher than average
23. Slow down
24. Forgotten stuff
25. Donate it
26. Googling translations
27. Honeymooners
28. Wrong, just wrong!
29. Making bartering into a contest
30. Snotty spending, inviting pickpockets
Dharam Khalsa with:
Surprising facts you might still not know about Freddie Mercury (if you were born yesterday!):
* As a little boy, he was named Farrokh Bulsara
* He was born in Zanzibar
* His family and his funeral were Zoroastrian
* He had a vocal range of almost four octaves
* Designed the special Queen Crest logo himself
* He was very shy
* Revealed he had AIDS, and then subsequently died the next day
* He was a dedicated cat lover
* The "Bottomless mic" was one of his many trademarks, after the moment when it came apart on stage
* Had worked previously as a baggage handler at Heathrow Airport in London
~
* Fans (or royal harrassers) were unaware that Princess Di often masqueraded as a young man, so she could accompany him on nights out.
* The rocker suffered before "The Show Must Go On", couldn't walk far, and was revived and energized by Vodka
* Embarrassed about his teeth, needed to fix them
* There is a statue of him in Switzerland
* He rarely gave interviews
* Wrote "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" in a bathtub
* Qualified as a Tenor any day
* There's a rosy flower named after him
* He was a philatelist (a stamp collector)
* He said "Bohemian Rhapsody" was gobblydegook, has hardly any meaning.
Ellie Dent with:
SEVERAL JOKES where the following punchline is not er,
exactly what you might be expecting:
Why are friends a lot like the snow?
If you pee on them they disappear.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...
And a bloomin' good spring and summer as well.
What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do a banana and a helicopter have in common?
Neither of them is a police officer.
~
What is the difference 'tween a plump hare and a grape?
Why, they are both purple...except the hare is not.
A champion horse walks firmly into a Balkan village bar...
Several womenfolk get up and walk off, as they
recognize the potential danger in the situation.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression
the other day.
Which made me - joyful me! - anxious, sad and melancholy.
BOOM! BOOM!
Julian Lofts with:
"We are facing [an] existential crisis, the biggest crisis humanity has ever faced....Some people, some companies, some decision makers in particular have known exactly what priceless values they have been sacrificing to continue making unimaginable amounts of money. I think many of you here today belong to that group of people."
Whose great quote is this? Guess
=
Swedish girl Greta Thunberg - hey, she is quite a remarkable freak, a sweet, unconventional, goofy sixteen year old activist, a plucky campaigner with a Weltanschauung against a fiasco, i.e. imminent climate change/eco mayhem. An over opinionated freethinker, she mesmerises, testifies, convinces obnoxious, pompous, myopic, hoggish people (us!) to use boats, not fly.
Tony Crafter with:
Into the pub shuffles Paddy McGee, looking like he has been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"Oh my goodness, McGee, what on earth happened to you?" asks the bartender.
"Oi had a terrible foight with Fergus O'Connor last noight," says Paddy.
"That little shite O'Connor?" scoffs the bartender, "He couldn't inflict that sort of damage on a person, he must have had somethin' in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it too."
"Well, McGee," replies the bartender, "you should've defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That oi did," replies Paddy. "Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it is too, but useless in a foight."
=
After living in the remote countryside all his life, Paddy Flint, an old Irishman decides it's about time he saw Dublin.
Once there, he goes into a shop, picks up a mirror and looks in it.
Never having seen one before, he says to the face looking back at him. 'Well, how about that. Uncanny! 'Tis only a picture of me old dad!'
A gleeful Paddy buys the mirror, convinced it's his dad, but on the way home he remembers that Brenda, his wife, had always hated his dad, so he hangs it up in the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he has a look at it.
Brenda gets suspicious about Paddy's trips to the shed. So, one day after Paddy had left, she goes to the shed and finds the mirror.
Looking into the glass she rants, "Ha! So that's the ugly bitch he's runnin' round with!"
1st - Tony Crafter with:
SUSPICIOUS MINDS
By
Elvis Presley
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
So, if an old friend I know
Stops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying (Yes I'm crying)
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
And be can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I've never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
Don't you know I'm caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Don't you know I'm caught in a trap
=
SUSPICIOUS SWINES
Boris's Sobering Ideology
I'm caught in a trap
Can't walk away
And leave the odious, bullying EU.
Parliament won't agree
Why can't they see,
They are defying you, their people?
I can't proceed surrounded
By suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
Who say I'm untrustworthy,
Ha! Suspicious swines.
But when I try to move on,
The asses pass new laws,
Suspicion clouds their curious minds.
Here we go again,
Another knock back,
They've said no to an election,
Oh, Corbyn, I know you're a chicken.
I can't move on, I'm deadlocked
By suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
Who've got me in a headlock,
(Unruly, vicious swines).
But I vow that I'll still
Carry out your will,
It could have been adieu soon, maybe,
Now they say I must
Beg EU for more time,
Huh? No way. No way!
Never mind about you,
They want to remain,
Egged on by bug-eyed weasel Bercow.
They owe a duty to you,
You voted to leave,
But you're a wearying nuisance to them.
So you see, I'm caught in a trap
No immediate way out,
Good Lord, it could go on forever.
2nd - Ellie Dent with:
Once upon a time, there was this horse named Boris.
Boris used to be a famous race horse. He had won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.
Then, suddenly at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in the most terrible accident. His private jet was hijacked and crashed,
Adie Pena with:
September
by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Lo! a ripe sheaf of many golden days
Gleaned by the year in autumn's harvest ways,
With here and there, blood-tinted as an ember,
Some crimson poppy of a late delight
Atoning in its splendor for the flight
Of summer blooms and joys-
This is September.
=
September
by Donald J. Trump
Bracing for Dorian, they foment youth's speedy demise.
Abaco yowls, meets your empty sighs.
Hell stepping on a dying Grand Bahama.
A tiny town of imminent doom,
Marsh Harbour eyes the intense gloom.
A smell of death fills Freeport but
Shelter needs a visa.
and only Boris survived. He was really despondent and depressed. His friends, and his family...they had all been lost in one fell swoop.
He vowed that he would never race again
Boris left his job, and found a farmer, Old Farmer John who agreed to take him in. He loved Boris and treated him exactly like a son.
However, the incident in Boris' past had turned him into a recluse. He was fearful and he spent each day alone out there in the barn.
Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and being concerned he decided to do something.
Each and every week, he would go to the town to sell his produce there. And he consistently set aside a little amount of cash for Boris.
And every week, he would also buy Boris a present, in the hope that the horse would be reminded of the wonderful life he'd had before,
and be happy again.
He bought him a spanking new CD player and a shiny new computer.
But the best thing he ever gave Boris was this:
Ten gallons of beer.
Let me explain how this came to be:
On his frequent trips to town, Old Farmer John used to regularly pass a pub they called The Fine Race Horse, and among the many who
enjoyed a drink there, it was famed for having excellent beer, probably the best in the world. It was okay but tiny and so only visited by
a few people, sadly forcing it one day to close.
And so when Old Farmer John heard about this, he went into the town, spoke to the old owner and then agreed to buy all of his beer.
And so John came back one day and gave Boris the pub's beer that he'd bought. He'd never seen Boris so happy.
And then for months, Boris would talk about this pub beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever had.
And then one day, Old Farmer John came home with a new guitar. And Boris recalled the CD player and his favorite songs.
Then he picked up the guitar, and began playing a song. And he was really very good indeed.
After hearing this Old Farmer John said:
"That's the best thing I have ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"
At first, Boris was rather hesitant. However, eventually he decided that he had been a recluse for far too long. And now it was indeed the
time for him to rise to fame again!
So he grabbed his guitar and then hotfooted it into the town.
On the way there, he met this pig by the name of David, and David could play the drums.
Like Boris, David too was trying to make his name as a musician.
So Boris the horse said:
"Hey, why don't we team up and make a band, we're keen, intelligent animals with talent. We could be the next big thing!"
David agreed, and the two of them continued on into the town.
At the next stop, this Hen called Sophie got on. And she liked to sing.
~
She knew just about all the words to Abba's...and all the songs in the world!
And so Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said:
"Why don't we just join up and go make a jobbing band? After all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"
And Sophie agreed, and the trio then went down to a local record store, and started their band.
And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. Unbelievable! They scored television deals and album
sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.
They toured with all sorts of famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and E.L.O.
And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives. Massive!
They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their expressive music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the
whole world would know their name.
And so they went from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.
They played in just about every city and in every major town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.
And when they got back home from abroad, they knew they had reached the peak of their careers.
And they kept touring, playing in many countries all over the globe.
But one sad day, everything changed.
One day, before they were set to fly out to Barbados for their next musical performance, Boris received a phone call from a hospital in his
home town.
And Boris found out that Old Farmer John, a brave, capable nonagenarian had alas, died.
So he decided to head back home so he could bury the man he treated like a pa. So he said to Sophie and David:
"You go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."
So the Pig and the Hen went off in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to bury 'dad', Old Farmer John.
But when he got home, he was in for a shock.
He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and
there were no survivors.
Boris was sad, bereft, beside himself with grief.
For the second time in his life, he'd lost firm friends, pals...everyone he loved. What a blow.
Boris became withdrawn and depressed, stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.
But then he saw something that stopped him.
Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the ten gallons of pub beer.
And so Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would quaff a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.
So Boris goes into town, and sees The Fine Race Horse pub, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees a sign which says "GRAND PUB RE-OPENING!"
And Boris knows that this is where he will have beers; forget his problems and his blues, escape bedlam and attempt to readjust and turn his life around.
So Boris the Horse enters the bar. The barman takes a look at him, and then asks him:
"Why the long face?"
3rd - Adie Pena with:
September
by Lucy Maud Montgomery
Lo! a ripe sheaf of many golden days
Gleaned by the year in autumn's harvest ways,
With here and there, blood-tinted as an ember,
Some crimson poppy of a late delight
Atoning in its splendor for the flight
Of summer blooms and joys
This is September.
=
September
by Donald J. Trump
Bracing for Dorian, they foment youth's speedy demise.
Abaco yowls, meets your empty sighs.
Hell stepping on a dying Grand Bahama.
A tiny town of imminent doom,
Marsh Harbour eyes the intense gloom.
A smell of death fills Freeport but
Shelter needs a visa.
Dharam Khalsa with:
perhaps one day,
when enough autumns,
with plenty of rain
have passed,
we will awake anew.
cleansed of the bitterness of the past,
ready to begin again.
- Madalina Coman
=
when (if and when)
I have funds to get an appointment,
i'll see a surgeon
to shape my face.
with each wrinkle abated,
I'll be young, or appear that way,
and ease sadness.
- woman
Ellie Dent with:
Once upon a time, there was this horse named Boris.
Boris used to be a famous race horse. He had won countless trophies, and was famous across the world.
Then, suddenly at the peak of his career, Boris was involved in the most terrible accident. His private jet was hijacked and crashed,
and only Boris survived. He was really despondent and depressed. His friends, and his family...they had all been lost in one fell swoop.
He vowed that he would never race again
Boris left his job, and found a farmer, Old Farmer John who agreed to take him in. He loved Boris and treated him exactly like a son.
However, the incident in Boris' past had turned him into a recluse. He was fearful and he spent each day alone out there in the barn.
Old Farmer John took pity on Boris, and being concerned he decided to do something.
Each and every week, he would go to the town to sell his produce there. And he consistently set aside a little amount of cash for Boris.
And every week, he would also buy Boris a present, in the hope that the horse would be reminded of the wonderful life he'd had before,
and be happy again.
He bought him a spanking new CD player and a shiny new computer.
But the best thing he ever gave Boris was this:
Ten gallons of beer.
Let me explain how this came to be:
On his frequent trips to town, Old Farmer John used to regularly pass a pub they called The Fine Race Horse, and among the many who
enjoyed a drink there, it was famed for having excellent beer, probably the best in the world. It was okay but tiny and so only visited by
a few people, sadly forcing it one day to close.
And so when Old Farmer John heard about this, he went into the town, spoke to the old owner and then agreed to buy all of his beer.
And so John came back one day and gave Boris the pub's beer that he'd bought. He'd never seen Boris so happy.
And then for months, Boris would talk about this pub beer, and how it was the best gift he'd ever had.
And then one day, Old Farmer John came home with a new guitar. And Boris recalled the CD player and his favorite songs.
Then he picked up the guitar, and began playing a song. And he was really very good indeed.
After hearing this Old Farmer John said:
"That's the best thing I have ever heard. You should go out into town and see the record company about starting a band!"
At first, Boris was rather hesitant. However, eventually he decided that he had been a recluse for far too long. And now it was indeed the
time for him to rise to fame again!
So he grabbed his guitar and then hotfooted it into the town.
On the way there, he met this pig by the name of David, and David could play the drums.
Like Boris, David too was trying to make his name as a musician.
So Boris the horse said:
"Hey, why don't we team up and make a band, we're keen, intelligent animals with talent. We could be the next big thing!"
David agreed, and the two of them continued on into the town.
At the next stop, this Hen called Sophie got on. And she liked to sing.
~
She knew just about all the words to Abba's...and all the songs in the world!
And so Boris the Horse and David the Pig went over to Sophie the Hen and said:
"Why don't we just join up and go make a jobbing band? After all, we're all animals with a talent. We could be the next big thing!"
And Sophie agreed, and the trio then went down to a local record store, and started their band.
And they were an instant hit. They became a worldwide phenomenon almost overnight. Unbelievable! They scored television deals and album
sponsorships, and once again Boris had reached the life of fame.
They toured with all sorts of famous bands, appearing alongside the likes of The Rolling Stones and E.L.O.
And then, one day, they got the biggest deal of their lives. Massive!
They got invited to go on a world tour. They would play their expressive music in every country on earth. By the time they were done, the
whole world would know their name.
And so they went from one country to the next, playing their music every step of the way.
They played in just about every city and in every major town. And the Horse, the Hen and the Pig became a household name.
And when they got back home from abroad, they knew they had reached the peak of their careers.
And they kept touring, playing in many countries all over the globe.
But one sad day, everything changed.
One day, before they were set to fly out to Barbados for their next musical performance, Boris received a phone call from a hospital in his
home town.
And Boris found out that Old Farmer John, a brave, capable nonagenarian had alas, died.
So he decided to head back home so he could bury the man he treated like a pa. So he said to Sophie and David:
"You go on ahead, I'll be with you in a day or two."
So the Pig and the Hen went off in their private jet, and Boris the Horse went home to bury 'dad', Old Farmer John.
But when he got home, he was in for a shock.
He received a call from his agent, and discovered that the private jet that David and Sophie were on had exploded in a freak accident, and
there were no survivors.
Boris was sad, bereft, beside himself with grief.
For the second time in his life, he'd lost firm friends, pals...everyone he loved. What a blow.
Boris became withdrawn and depressed, stumbled into his old barn, and decided to take his own life.
But then he saw something that stopped him.
Because in the old barn, was the huge tank that once contained the ten gallons of pub beer.
And so Boris decided that instead of suicide, he would quaff a few drinks, and would go on and turn his life around.
So Boris goes into town, and sees The Fine Race Horse pub, and underneath the sign on the door, he sees a sign which says "GRAND PUB RE-OPENING!"
And Boris knows that this is where he will have beers; forget his problems and his blues, escape bedlam and attempt to readjust and turn his life around.
So Boris the Horse enters the bar. The barman takes a look at him, and then asks him:
"Why the long face?"
Tony Crafter with:
SUSPICIOUS MINDS
By
Elvis Presley
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
So, if an old friend I know
Stops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying (Yes I'm crying)
We can't go on together
With suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
And be can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die
When honey, you know
I've never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah
We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?
Don't you know I'm caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby
Don't you know I'm caught in a trap
=
SUSPICIOUS SWINES
Boris's Sobering Ideology
I'm caught in a trap
Can't walk away
And leave the odious, bullying EU.
Parliament won't agree
Why can't they see,
They are defying you, their people?
I can't proceed surrounded
By suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
Who say I'm untrustworthy,
Ha! Suspicious swines.
But when I try to move on,
The asses pass new laws,
Suspicion clouds their curious minds.
Here we go again,
Another knock back,
They've said no to an election,
Oh, Corbyn, I know you're a chicken.
I can't move on, I'm deadlocked
By suspicious minds (suspicious minds)
Who've got me in a headlock,
(Unruly, vicious swines).
But I vow that I'll still
Carry out your will,
It could have been adieu soon, maybe,
Now they say I must
Beg EU for more time,
Huh? No way. No way!
Never mind about you,
They want to remain,
Egged on by bug-eyed weasel Bercow.
They owe a duty to you,
You voted to leave,
But you're a wearying nuisance to them.
So you see, I'm caught in a trap
No immediate way out,
Good Lord, it could go on forever.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
It's in her vagina? =
She ain't a virgin!
2nd - Adrian Hickford with:
Pet deposit's hiding =
I stepped in dogshit!
3rd - Christopher Sturdy with:
Today's Supreme Court Ruling =
Argue sorry cunt PM lied to us.
Adie Pena with:
Leicester Square, West End, London =
Queers' toilet wonderland scenes.
Adrian Hickford with:
Pet deposit's hiding =
I stepped in dogshit!
Christopher Sturdy with:
Today's Supreme Court Ruling =
Argue sorry cunt PM lied to us.
George Missailidis with:
Dating site =
Tits gained! ;)
George Missailidis with:
The fast-food restaurant, KFC =
Tons of rats are fed?! Fuck that!
Julian Lofts with:
Clarkson criticises Greta Thunberg =
"The actress or girl's a bickering cunt!"
Meyran Kraus with:
It's in her vagina? =
She ain't a virgin!
Tony Crafter with:
The dominatrix's submissive in roleplay =
Mr. is initially bound to have sex per Miss!
View with:
Having sex for money =
Give horny man "foxes".