Nominations for April, 2015

April 2015 NOMINATIONS

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Tony Crafter with:
'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde =
How incredibly your portrait's face aged!

2nd - David Bourke with:
The singer Bono =
Note: He's boring!

3rd - View with:
Movie "Cinderella" =
Relive old cinema.

Ellie Dent with:
M. Claude Oscar Monet and the Impressionists =
Sun seems to inspire color... it demands a match!

Adie Pena with:
The action film 'Fast and Furious Seven' =
Fine, fun cars to that famous Vin Diesel.

Scott Gardner with:
The Disney animated motion pictures =
I update ancient myth, so modernise it.

Jesse Frankovich with:
The top Michael Jackson studio album, Thriller =
"Billie Jean" makes him pull crotch to do a thrust.

Jesse Frankovich with:
Frodo, Bilbo had strength in The ~
Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.

Rosie Perera with:
Madame Tussauds' Star Wars Experience =
Museum rated a wax princess as dearest.

Scott Gardner with:
The American television program Game of Thrones =
Hit epic, hot as George R. R. Martin novel of same name.

Adie Pena with:
Disneyland Theme Park =
Damn kids a-plenty here!

Scott Gardner with:
Actress Stephanie Sigman =
Agent is a smash in Spectre.

Dharam Khalsa with:
The Alex Garland Science Fiction movie =
Live target fooled in scenic "Ex Machina".

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Scott Gardner with:
Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch =
That much-noted romantic BBC celebrity.

2nd -David Bourke with:
The U.S. vocalist, pianist and songwriter Barry Manilow =
With a very dominant slantwise triangular proboscis.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
Donatien Alphonse François, The Marquis de Sade =
Head Frenchman adored pain sessions quite a lot!

Ellie Dent with:
The Germanwings co-pilot Andreas Lubitz =
The world's seen brutal, agonizing impact.

Ed Pegg Jr with:
Lucien Sarti?? =
Unrealistic.

Adie Pena with:
J Edgar Hoover and Clyde Tolson =
Old gay John and escorted lover.

Larry Brash with:
The Boston Marathon bomber Dzokhar Tsarnaev =
A drama, no thanks to both brothers' brazen move.

David Bourke with:
Stephanie Sigman =
Emphasising a "Ten"!

Jesse Frankovich with:
The libertarian physician Senator Rand Paul =
As in, another sad liar in the Republican Party.

View with:
Burton Stephen "Burt" Lancaster =
Trenchant but noble superstar.

Jason Lofts with:
The Hollywood film star Burt Lancaster =
Tall heartthrob actor, now fully missed.

Jason Lofts with:
US presidential candidate Hillary Clinton ~
indicates country in peril and shall lead it.

Scott Gardner with:
Emilia Clarke =
Like a miracle!

Adie Pena with:
Edward Samuel Miliband =
Damn wild bum is a leader?

Julian Lofts with:
UK's chess grandmaster Nigel Short =
"Girls aren't strong". He's mad! He sucks!

nedesto with:
USA presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton =
Nasty scandal on email had dirtied her political run.

Dharam Khalsa with:
Presidential Candidate Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton =
Lady had a child, promised maternal instinct in role.

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

1st - Adie Pena with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Female College Prof: "The idiots in the room may stand up."

Tom stands up.

"Why on one's feet?" Prof mocks Tom, "I'd keep it!"

A giggling Tom comments, "I hate to see you all alone."

2nd - Jesse Frankovich with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." —Douglas Adams=
Engineering any optimum tool?
Fool! That is a decidedly mammoth task, as a rule.
People often forget
The deep cosmos is yet
To know glimpsing the consummate fool.

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely
foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams.
=
Poet named Shakespeare composed:
'A fool thinks he is intelligent, intelligent man considers himself a fool.

Rosie Perera with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Like mammoth software companies (e.g., Google) trying to make products that any fool can use...they didn't plan on immense idiots. Gosh, most people feel futile. Me too!

View with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
O, often many stupid people made long scientific and philosophic theories, so admonish yourself from gawky moments! Get a gut, mettle too...take moment to allege.

Jesse Frankovich with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." —Douglas Adams
=
Engineering a new tool for a feckless nincompoop, dopeface, numskull, or total idiot to employ is tough—it seems they may not fathom the most simple gadget made!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Look, Ma! Infomercials preempt nightly news to sell some optimal, unneeded, gimmick to moody agitated consumers, so that they get up off a sofa to go telephone in.

Rosie Perera with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Contemplate a game: The first day of April you sometimes need to make fun of simpletons, the most common people who cannot tell you're kidding. Giggles! It's a hoot!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
So, it seems if you make a phenomenal gadget that seems idiot proof, and hope to get it patented on forms, some rich smug flunky will come along only to complete it!

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
It's like Murphy's Law: If employment of one safe tested common tool might result in catastrophic damage, a fool employing it needs to get tough and poke someone!

Julian Lofts with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
My footnote: The Germans thought how to design a "safe" cockpit door. Pilot left to pee, gets locked out. Madman/nemesis flies plane into alps. My eulogy: "In memoriam".

Jason Lofts with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Postmortem keynote: Oops, Germanwings copilot committed suicide! Lufthansa set to offer huge money as emotional damages to the many people killed on flight.

Dharam Khalsa with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
Adams' supercomputer, 'Deep Thought',
Contemplated the meaning of life...a lot!
No mystic omen, no yogi, no lifelong ado;
It makes the message look simple: "It's Forty-Two!"

3rd - Ellie Dent with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely
foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams.
=
Poet named Shakespeare composed:
'A fool thinks he is intelligent, intelligent man considers himself a fool.

You, me, a dummy opt to compute a gem: got... got 'forty two!'

Adie Pena with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
PEOPLE ARE NOTHING

Most folks stopped forgetting, I'm taking the cue.
"Fool me once, shame on you."
I'm attempting to say, odd adults are silly.
"Fool me twice, shame on me."

Christopher Sturdy with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=
UK election time...
Top polls suggest Daily Mail readers log on to the net, howl at the moon then go to UKIP's manifesto (feeds off 'immigrant-sapped economy') come May.

Tony Crafter with:
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Douglas Adams
=

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; attempt it again and you'll get the prickly end of a pineapple, ok? Trust me, it's gross." - (Methodist song: 'O Lift Me God')

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Jesse Frankovich with:
From you have I been absent in the spring,
When proud-pied April dress'd in all his trim
Hath put a spirit of youth in every thing,
That heavy Saturn laugh'd and leap'd with him.
Yet nor the lays of birds nor the sweet smell
Of different flowers in odor and in hue
Could make me any summer's story tell,
Or from their proud lap pluck them where they grew;
Nor did I wonder at the lily's white,
Nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose;
They were but sweet, but figures of delight,
Drawn after you, you pattern of all those.
Yet seem'd it winter still, and, you away,
As with your shadow I with these did play.

=

A TIMELY SONNET

Sweet spring is in the air this time of year;
Pink flowers do break through winter's dreaded grey.
Rain falls upon the earth in droplets clear;
In muddy puddles youths will wildly play.
Now tulips fill up every shady bed;
Green turf ensued with shoots of timothy.
In far, wide opportunities ahead,
New upward growth with health, viridity.
Throughout the pretty trees around the lawn,
Hear honeybees resume their happy hum.
Embodied in the warmth of every dawn,
A hint of sultry summer yet to come.
It's time to dearly hail this season of
Renewal and rebirth of life and love.

2nd - Adie Pena with:
THE SPRING AND THE FALL

In the spring of the year, in the spring of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The trees were black where the bark was wet.
I see them yet, in the spring of the year.
He broke me a bough of the blossoming peach
That was out of the way and hard to reach.

In the fall of the year, in the fall of the year,
I walked the road beside my dear.
The rooks went up with a raucous trill.
I hear them still, in the fall of the year.
He laughed at all I dared to praise,
And broke my heart, in little ways.

Year be springing or year be falling,
The bark will drip and the birds be calling.
There's much that's fine to see and hear
In the spring of a year, in the fall of a year.
'Tis not love's going hurt my days.
But that it went in little ways.

=

ECO-LOGICAL

Valley and shrub submerged at the start of the year;
I walked her path full of fear.
Like in her reply with the hymn of nihility
Came timidity at the start of the year.
As garbage stands in the babbling brook,
Now we both weep for the trees we took?

The winter is hellish at the end of the year,
She walked her path full of fear.
Energy bills pile up, there is no solution --
The pollution at the end of the year.
I inhale the air; hear the blind babies crying.
Now the frail people are rapidly dying.

Months are starting, months are ending;
Yesterday's high tide is fast ascending.
Little we learn, how much we fear
At the start of a year, at the end of a year.
Nights are dark, birthdays are bleak;
Damage is the dual rhythm we wreak.

3rd - Tony Crafter with:
10 TRICKS TO APPEAR SMART AT BUSINESS MEETINGS

Here are ten brilliant tricks for quickly appearing smart at business meetings:

Like everyone else, the need to seem smart at meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or just bacon. When this happens, it is useful to have some tricks to fall back on. Here are my ten top tips for quickly appearing smart at meetings.

1. Draw a Venn diagram.

Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is one highly effective way of appearing smart. It does not matter if the diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more off the mark it is, the better. Even before you have put that marker down, your colleagues will start to fight about what precisely the labels should be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink back to your chair and continue playing Candy Crush on your phone.

2. Pace around the room.

Whenever someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately respect them? In my opinion, it takes a lot of guts but once you do it, you'll immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Emit a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what the hell you're thinking. If only they knew (bacon).

3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”.

There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, apart from you. Opinions, statistics and milestones are being thrown around and you haven't the faintest idea what they all mean. This is the best point at which to yell, “Guys, guys, guys, can we just take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads towards you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Then quickly follow up with: “Let's assess this situation - just what problem are we really trying to solve here?” and, boom, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.

4. Nod continuously while pretending to take notes.

Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so. If someone asks if you’re taking notes, say that these are your own personal notes and that someone else should really be keeping the minutes of the meeting. Voila! You'll have quickly saved your ass, and you'll also have got out of doing any extra work. Or any work at all, if you’re really succeeding.

Then move smoothly through steps 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...

~
5. Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very, very slowly.

Make a mental note of the engineer in the room. Remember his name. He will always be quiet during most of the meeting, but when his moment comes, everything flowing out of his mouth will spring from a place of unknowable brilliance. After he's uttered his exalted words, chip in with, “Okay, let me repeat that,” and repeat back exactly what the engineer said, but go very, very slowly. Now his brilliance has been transferred to you. People will look back on the meeting and mistakenly attribute the intelligent statement to you. Great!

6. Ask, “Will this scale?” no matter what it may be.

It’s important to find out if things will scale no matter what you are discussing. No one even knows what it means, but it’s a good catch-all question that usually applies and drives engineers nuts.

7. Convert percentages into fractions.

If someone says, “About 25% of users click on this button,” quickly chip in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your ready mathematical skills.

8. Ask the presenter to go back a slide.

“Sorry, could you quickly go back a slide?” They are the words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you say this. Right away, it'll make you look like you are paying closer attention than everyone else, because clearly everyone missed the thing you are about to point out. Don’t have anything to point out? Just say something like, “It's okay, I just wasn't convinced about the accuracy of some figures,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire meeting of appearing dogged and smart.

9. Step out for a phone call.

You are probably afraid to step out of the room in case people think you aren’t making the meeting your priority and disapprove. Conversely, if you step out for a “very important” phone call, they will realize exactly how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, our meeting's very important, so if he's got something even more important, we'd best not bug him.”

10. Make fun of yourself.

If someone asks what you think, and you haven't caught a single word anyone said for the past hour, just say, “Oh bugger; sorry, I didn’t catch a single word anyone said during the past hour.” People love self-deprecating humour. Say things like, “Maybe we can just use the lawyers from my divorce,” or, “God I wish I was dead.” They’ll laugh, value your honesty and consider contacting H.R., but more importantly, think you are far and away the smartest person in the room.

Adie Pena with:
CLIMATE'S CURSE

We are told the climate will change
But how far will parameters range?
For better or worse
Not knowings our curse
Sailing deserts may be very strange.

=

WARMER GLOBE

First we're struck by a game changer;
Our latest system becomes stranger.
Our planet called Earth,
Will we note its worth?
Now our sci-fi lives are in danger!

Jesse Frankovich with:
No law shall prohibit or bless
Any creed; curb free speech or free press;
Or say people can't meet,
If in peace, in the street,
And petition the state for redress.
=
Republicans often appear
To act (center their interests) on fear.
They'll incredibly oppress
These free pieces, profess:
"To bear arms is the one we hold dear!"

The Anagrammy Awards

April 2015 NOMINATIONS

THE GENERAL CATEGORY

THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

THE PEOPLES NAMES CATEGORY

THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

THE MEDIUM LENGTH CATEGORY

THE ANAGRAMMY CHALLENGE CATEGORY

THE LONG CATEGORY

THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

THE RUDE CATEGORY