Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000
1st - Richard Grantham with:
If all the veins in my body were laid end-to-end, ~
then damn soon I will very definitely be dead!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Parliamentarian =
I am a plain ranter.
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
To revenge =
Or get even?
David Bourke with:
Post natal depression =
Sad parent loses point.
David Bourke with:
Blood transfusion =
Donors of lab units.
David Bourke with:
Senile dementia =
Insane? Let me die!
David Bourke with:
Pocket calculator =
Total cock-up? Clear.
David Bourke with:
The Afterlife =
Let faith free!
Chris Bradfield with:
Songs from the heart =
Harsh forget-me-nots.
Jon Gearhart with:
Guitarist hold ~
this old guitar.
Richard Grantham with:
Hardline left wing =
Lenin with red flag.
Richard Grantham with:
Life insurance =
Funeral is nice.
Richard Grantham with:
A chemistry lesson =
There's my ion class!
Richard Grantham with:
The First Crusade =
The turf is sacred.
Jaybur with:
A prefect =
Fat creep.
Jaybur with:
The Prodigal Son =
Or is God the plan?
Jaybur with:
Storm in a teacup =
A computer stain!
Jaybur with:
Heavenly virtues =
I have seven, truly!
Jaybur with:
Partisan =
Aspirant.
Jaybur with:
The funniest disaster =
This fuss entertained!
Jaybur with:
Virtuous circle =
Our licit curves.
Jaybur with:
Male prat in ~
Parliament.
Jaybur with:
Rifle shot =
Short life!
Meyran Kraus with:
Padded Room =
Mad drooped.
Tom Myers with:
Political spin =
Plain politics.
Tom Myers with:
Past-due notice =
Up-to-date's nice.
Tom Myers with:
The party platter =
Try the apple tart.
Tom Myers with:
Political dogma =
Diplomatic goal.
Tom Myers with:
Food processor =
Odor of corpses.
Mick Tully with:
Exsanguination =
An ingenious tax...
1st - David Bourke with:
The Traveling Wilburys: Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne and Roy Orbison =
An angry Jew / the Beatle / blond boy / sorry prat in ELO / stiff guy... in short, very boring old men.
2nd - Earle Jones with:
A nice coy Mona Lisa demurred =
Smile! You're on Candid Camera!
3rd - Benjamin Yackley with:
A Sega Dreamcast =
Games at arcades.
Wayne Baisley with:
Richard Attenborough =
Grouchier than Bardot.
David Bourke with:
I Can't Get No Satisfaction =
'Cos a Stone (a git) can't fit in.
Husband and Wife with:
All you need is love =
I evade lonely soul.
Meyran Kraus with:
'Robinson Crusoe' by Daniel Defoe =
Boned Friday on one obscure isle.
Meyran Kraus with:
recreation outdoors fishing bass =
Idiot snores? A bunch of gators rise...
Mick Tully with:
recreation outdoors fishing bass =
Sorrier session find, caught a boot!
Mick Tully with:
"The Archers" =
Thresh acre.
Mick Tully with:
"Our finest hour" =
Honours, if true.
1st - ID Letterman with:
Manual recount =
Unclear amount.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The US Elections =
Count these lies.
3rd - William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
Republican National Committee =
Inept ballot count: America mine!
David Bourke with:
Impatience has deleted ~
peace in the Middle East.
David Bourke with:
George Bush and Al Gore =
Our loggerheads began.
Chris Bradfield with:
De Beers Millennium Diamond =
Blues minded mineral in Dome.
Clio with:
Diamond thieves =
Hit in Dome? Saved!
Clio with:
Diamond thieves =
Ah! Dome visit, end!
Clio with:
The Statue of Liberty =
O, "the butterfly"'s a tie!
Jon Gearhart with:
Lead is narrowing now, so since positions bounce... =
Possible recounts in Iowa, Wisconsin, and Oregon.
Jon Gearhart with:
Florida Supreme Court =
Scour for a 'true' dimple.
Jon Gearhart with:
Elections =
Elite cons...
Jon Gearhart with:
Al Gore's ~
a loser! <g>
Jon Gearhart with:
Chiltern Hills Mineral Water =
Thin shit near rim? We'll recall!
Richard Grantham with:
A Palestinian's rock =
An Israeli cop's tank.
Husband and Wife with:
Gore for President =
Deport foreigners?
Husband and Wife with:
Go represent Florida =
Al Gore for President.
Jaybur with:
A large bonfire =
For rebel again.
Jaybur with:
The threat of global warming =
O man! the fatal, brighter glow.
Jaybur with:
Florida, The Sunshine State =
Al toasts there; unfinished.
Meyran Kraus with:
Planting a bomb in a car =
Arabic man in 'Bang' plot?
Keith Lehman with:
Demanding a recount =
Inane Democrat dung.
ID Letterman with:
Bush's transition team =
Oh, man! Isn't it abstruse?
Chris Murray with:
Shadow Cabinet Minister =
Cannabis! Who's tried it? - Me!
Ralph Musco with:
"Machines are neither Republicans nor Democrats" =
Human desire can't shape an IBM's electronic error.
Tom Myers with:
Gore demands a recount =
Democrats argue - no end.
Graham Perkins with:
The Florida Electoral College =
Ol' Al Gore collected fail there!
Graham Perkins with:
"Machines are neither Republicans nor Democrats" =
Americans read "Computer can err... thin holes be sin!"
Rick Rothstein with:
Remembrance Sunday =
Burden may scare men.
Rick Rothstein with:
Florida votes =
Diverts a fool.
Rick Rothstein with:
Demanding a recount =
Mean underdog antic.
Rick Rothstein with:
The Supreme Court of Florida =
Mute our officeholder's trap!
Rick Rothstein with:
Stupid Voters ~
disrupt votes.
Chris Sturdy with:
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Danger =
Beef 'n' Cattle adjudged as zero risk.
Mick Tully with:
Weather forecast =
A force wets earth.
Mick Tully with:
Integrated Transport Policy =
Danger, rotten party politics!
Mick Tully with:
Menage a trois =
Tories manage!
Mick Tully with:
Chiltern Hills Mineral Water =
Ill, Mr? Hear cretin shat in well!
1st - Larry Brash with:
The Missionary Position =
Say, I insist I'm on top o' her.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
I am checking up on my portfolio in stocks =
Company's in toilet. Shock! I'm fucking poor.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Golden shower =
So, down her leg?
David Bourke with:
The 'Mons pubis' =
Bump hits nose.
David Bourke with:
Sir Alexander Chapman Ferguson ~
has anal sex during performance.
Chris Bradfield with:
Three in a bed =
Her bent idea.
Richard Grantham with:
Lick arse =
Real sick.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Peter Duncan Cobb =
Open crabbed cunt.
Meyran Kraus with:
Frat Members Initiation =
I fart, moan "Tits! Beer!"... I'm in!
Tom Myers with:
Cheney suffers a mild heart attack =
The fucker's malady? He's a fat cretin.
Tom Myers with:
Low sperm count =
Porn, cums, towel.
Rick Rothstein with:
Getting dumped by the crimson wave =
My cunt... seeping dim red... vow?... get bath.
Rick Rothstein with:
Adolf Schicklegruber =
Fucked girl's crab hole.
Rick Rothstein with:
Thirteen skillful demon teachers =
Her cunt smelled like a rotten fish.
Rick Rothstein with:
As glamour moistens us =
Simultaneous orgasms.
Rick Rothstein with:
The birds and the bees =
Best shared in the bed.
Rick Rothstein with:
Bush's transition team =
Masturbation's the sin.
Mick Tully with:
Sexual intercourse =
Our lust, an exercise?
Mick Tully with:
A wet fart =
Water aft.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
OLD FRIENDS
OLD CLASSMATES
MILITARY BUDDIES
DEADBEAT DADS & MOMS
SIBLING'S
RELATIVES
LOST LOVED ONES
WITNESS LOCATING
=
LAME MORONS,
SAD CRETINS,
BAD-ASS IDIOTS,
BRAIN-DEAD CLODS,
EVIL DOLTS,
VAIN DWEEBS,
SILLY OLD GITS,
FALSE NET-DUMMIES:
Get lost.
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Safe And Easy Snoring Solution! =
Insert nose in ass of a young lad.
3rd - Brad Williams with:
Find Free Stuff~Click~Here
Fiend! Fist-fucker! Felcher!
Jon Gearhart with:
todos ellos están bien, hasta los colores caquita que me
parecen más pesaditos
=
Q: Shall I request a peon spammer dies? Blast? Toast? A noose?
O, I see...
A: Account closed.
Graham Perkins with:
Hello All
I would like to know what service or business is missing from
the internet.
=
I'd love to see fun shares in
www.hire-killer-robots.com/Killing-shits/Lets-nominate-U
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Here are the 4 easy steps to success:
STEP 1: Get 6 separate pieces of paper and write the following on each piece of paper "PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR MAILING LIST." Now get 6 US $1 bills and place ONE inside EACH of the 6 pieces of paper so the bill will not be seen through the envelope (to prevent thievery). Next, place one paper in each of the 6 envelopes and seal them. You should now have 6 sealed envelopes, each with a piece of paper stating the above phrase, your name and address, and a $1 bill. What you are doing is creating a service. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY LEGAL! You are requesting a legitimate service and you are paying for it!
Like most of us I was a little skeptical and a little worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161) and they confirmed that it is indeed legal. Mail the 6 envelopes to the following addresses:
#1) Jon Nagy
710 N.E.3rd Ave.
Delray Beach, FL 33444
#2) J. Drescher
P.O. Box 731
Hawley, Pa. 18428
#3) Aaron Roth
7718 Cambridge Court
Crestwood, Ky 40014
#4) Sathish Kumar S
8210 Gorman Avenue
Laurel, MD - 20707
#5) Wyatt LeClair
24119 W. Del Monte Dr.
Valencia, CA 91355
#6) Ernesto Rodriguez
503 Jon Ct.
Diamond Bar, Ca 91765
STEP 2: Now take the #1 name off the list that you see above, move the other names up (6 becomes 5, 5 becomes 4, etc...) and add YOUR Name as number 6 on the list.
STEP 3: Copy and paste this article to a word document and change anything you need to, but try to keep this article as close to original as possible. Now, post your amended article to at least 200 newsgroups. (I think there are close to 24,000 groups) All you need is 200, but remember, the more you post, the more money you make! You won't get very much unless you post like crazy.
This is perfectly legal! If you have any doubts, refer to Title 18 Sec. 1302 and 1341 of the Postal lottery laws. Keep a copy of these steps for yourself and, whenever you need money, you can use it again, and again. PLEASE REMEMBER that this program remains successful because of the honesty and integrity of the participants and by their carefully adhering to the directions. Look at it this way. If you are of integrity, the program will continue and the money that so many others have received will come your way.
=
Guys, are you concerned by the size of your old feller?
Feel you maybe need a little more endowment? Eager for 1, 2, even 4 more inches?
Help is on its way! Here are the 4 easy steps you need to get the mega-willy you've always wanted! Believe me, the plan really works - I myself gained 3.6666666667 inches, and you can too!
STEP 1: Carefully clean your cock with pure water and aloe vera soap, ensuring each cranny is completely free from every trace of smegma. Bathe it in tea tree oil and give it a final rinse, before gently patting the surface dry. Then chop off the useless frigging piece of meat.
STEP 2: Seal your tiny old doodah in plastic, place it in a thick envelope then mail it to the #1 name from the address list you see below:
#1) Fred Salerno
478 E 31st Street
San Francisco CA 94114
USA
#2) J.W. Bobbitt
10573 Machete Avenue
Beverly Hills CA 90210
USA
#3) Ed Windsor
c/o Round the back of Buck House
London SW1
Great Britain
#4) Larry Brash
P.O. BOX 312
The Junction NSW 2291
Australia
#5) Amélie Mauresmo
6275, rue Sappho 75010 Paris
France
By the way, I called the Post Office (1-800-725-2161) and they established that it is indeed perfectly legal to post recently detached penises, as long as they've been properly wrapped. So as you see there's no need to stress yourself on this matter.
STEP 3: Move the names up a step. Drop name #1, append yours at the #5 level instead, and then post the message to at least 23,000 newsgroups (there are 24,000-plus). Any ought to do, but I suggest you ought to keep away from alt.personals.herpes.
I did all of this a while ago. To my amazement, inside ten weeks I received 1,088,037,580,134,481,114,307.5 cocks by mail - exactly 4 of which were larger than my old pee-pee.
STEP 4: Now call upon a capable micro-surgeon to attach the prick you've selected. If your specialist is unfamiliar with the operation, make sure to tell him to pay special attention to the dorsal vein and positioning the corpus cavernosa, and that the urethra needs particular care too. Alternatively, a quick round with a stapler ought to do the job.
That's all! So come on, what have you got to lose? I'm a changed man now, due to this scheme, and I promise it can help you too. I hope you're going to decide to give it a go.
David Bourke
2nd - David Bourke with:
Hello All
I would like to know what service or business is missing from the internet.
Could it use a more helpful (paid) version of Ask Jeeves?
Could it use a forwarding service so that snail and email is only
given to one company?
Could the internet use a Better Business Bureau? (reporting good
and bad companies, sites across the internet)
Maybe you want an ISP that charges only $10.00 / month?
What would you like to see thats not already on the internet?
I want to know...what you think and I want to you to forward this posting to at least 5 people. I would like to receive a minimum of 1,000 emails on this topic by November 5, 2000 - Can you help me. (I want a total of 15,000 emails by Nov 30, 2000)
Email your replies to wrowe62@uswest.net
http://www.deja.com/profile.xp?author=wrowe62@uswest.net&ST
Please use a subject of: SURVEY
Thanks
Wayne Rowe
=
Hi, you poor old jerks, I'm Mark Waine...
I would like to insult your intelligence by pretending that I'm out conducting some sort of internet survey, when, in fact, all that I'm doing is getting (at no cost to myself) the e-mail addresses of as many gullible assholes as possible, which I can then sell-off to various unscrupulous internet companies so they can bombard you too with spam to advertise their pathetic rubbish, such as penis (or tit) enhancement, online loans, sexual aids, perverted teenie porno videos, or worse...I bet you know just the sort of unwanted pure drivel that I mean! So anyway, I want to make at least $1,000,000 (or even $2,000,000!) by Nov 6, 2002.
Reply to:
whatastupidlittlefool@www.spam121-365@wet_ewe&sheepwool5050.au
(Please use a subject of :
"Wow wow wow! I see! I'm a total and utter wanker too!")
Thank you everyone,
- Mark Waine
3rd - Larry Brash with:
21,000+ XXX Channels, 500,000+ Thumbnail Photos, 17,000+ Sex Stories
Text Format, 300+ Audio Sex Stories, 100+ Web Cams (Shower, Dressing
Room, Clinic, Pee Cam), Adult Chat Rooms, 100+ XXX Screen Savers,
5000+ Mini Movies, 300 Sex Games, 10,500 Celebrity, 400+ Celebrity
Mimi Movies, LIVE SEX SHOWS, Adult Classified Area, FREE Smut
Cards By Email, Dating Services, Voyeur Area, Models Of The World,
Redhead Pussy Area, Pamela Anderson Area With The Movies &
Pixs, EroticaWorld, Alexis St. James Area, Jokes/Puzzles.
=
Overview:
A mecca of:
200 goofy paraphiliacs,
100 crummy child molesters in VWs,
100 exhibitionists dressed just in jocks,
500 sexually regressive arse examiners,
100 ex-anorexic swamp goat/llama lovers,
500 men who xerox their arses (expelled adulterers),
400 ex-midwife lesbians (hermaphrodites),
300 sex device addicts (also shoes fetish zealots),
700 extreme onanists,
300 Durex users,
100 closet bum-bandits,
500 sodomite vicars (amaze a pew),
& exactly 1000 masturbaters.
ima_ram@yahoo.com
Larry Brash with:
ARE YOU READY TO USE YOUR SPARE TIME TO MAKE MONEY???
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE $1000--TO $3000 PER WEEK FOR WORKING PART TIME THEN YOU NEED TO WORK FROM HOME
IF YOU WANT TO OWN A BUSINESS THAT WILL DO THIS FOR YOU THEN WE NEED TO TALK
THERE IS NO SELLING INVOLVED AND YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO TALK TO ANYONE
IF YOUR 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER THEN REPLY BACK WITH YOUR NAME AREA CODE AND PHONE NUMBER ADDRESS AND THE BEST TIME TO CALL YOU
=
KEEN TO ENTER, TOO? YOU CAN NEVER EARN THAT AMOUNT OF CASH ON A WEEKLY BASIS FROM YOUR TWO BEDROOM HOUSE. THE ONLY KNOWN WAY OUT IS TO SELL YOUR NUDE TEEN ARSE FOR SODOMY, TO PARTAKE IN EVERY WEIRD BONDAGE RITUAL WITH GOATS, DONKEY, MULES, AND OTHER TORMENTED ANIMALS OF THE FIELD, WHILE TARTED UP LIKE ONE KOOKY DEMENTED FRENCH MAID AND WEARING A NAPPY OR TUTU, OR YOU MAY PEE ON TWO TOY-BOY HITLER DEVOTEES.
Meyran Kraus with:
----------------------Cut & Paste----------------------
---------------------EZ Order Form---------------------
_____Yes! I want everything! I am ordering within 72 hours. Include my FREE "Business On A Disk" bonus along with your 10 Million Vol. 10 E-Mail address CD (plus 1,154,089 bonus addresses) for the special price of only $247.00 + shipping as indicated below.
_____Yes! I missed the 72 hour special, but I am ordering Vol. 10, super clean e-mail addresses within 7 days for the "special" price of only $247.00 + s&h.
_____Oop's I missed the 72 hour and 7 day "specials". I am ordering Vol. 10 at the regular price of $299.00 + s&h.
PLEASE SELECT YOUR SHIPPING OPTION
____I would like to receive my package FedEx OVERNIGHT. I am including $15 for shipping. (Hawaii & Alaska $20 - Canada $25, all other International add an additional $25 [$40 total] for shipping)
____I would like to receive my package FedEx 2 DAY delivery. I'm including $10 for shipping. (Sorry no Canada or International delivery - Continental U.S. shipping addresses only)
=
----------------------Read & Learn----------------------
-----EZ Successfully-Finish-A-Pig-Hybrid's-Ass Form-----
_____Please! I'd like my virtually-invisible willy diced and chopped to 724,151,272,790 pieces and fed to 724,151,272,790 crocodiles! As I spend all of my energy on 90,000 ridiculous, idiotic scams my sex-life is non-existent.
_____Please! I'd like to be guillotined! What use would I have
for my silly head?!
The 25,000 raccoons living in it will not be happy, though.
_____Oops! I pissed my dirty pants again. It is lucky I'm wearing diapers. I guess I should have registered into an old-people's home after I retired instead of pissing 15,700,000 people off.
PICK A KILLING WEAPON
____A Chainsaw/Scissors/A Nail-Gun Loaded With 481,212,124 Nine-Inch Nails: Aim for large arteries.
____Lynching: Prepare a rodeo-horse, a rope and a high, hard pole and string me up!
____A Monster-Truck: Run over my corpse... and over, and over, and over!
OR you can chain it to the bumper and drag it around.
Brad Williams with:
LIVE VID FREE PIX (Benann Eliad)
CUM VISIT THE GORGEOUS WOMEN, COUPLES AND ORGIES ON http://www.hotelheat.com
TONS OF FREE PICS, TONS OF WOMEN WAITING TO PLEASE YOU. VISITE
NOW! AND BOOKMARK THIS SITE!
=
I fixed evil perv (Ben Analdine)
Smoke crack and worship Satan! Feast on shite from goose bowels!
Vomit, then swig it right down, eel! Eat vile toe fungus, moose
unit on ice!
site http://www.poop-on-you.com
1st - Richard Grantham with:
The
Soldier
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
=
A pronouncement in Rome's forum: Tony says, "You listen here!
Bar democratic admirers!"
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Justness, Sagaciousness, Abstinence, Fortitude, Faith, Hope and
Love - The Seven Godly Virtues.
=
Pride, Covetousness, Lust, Sofa-Sloth, Envy, Rage, A DUI/Just
Being Fat- The Seven Theodicean Sins.
David Bourke with:
"Houston...Tranquility Base here. The Eagle has landed."
=
"Er, hello again!"..."Oh, hi!"
ended a lunar quest by The States.
Richard Brodie with:
Some ballots in West Palm Beach, Florida were confusing, and some
people who wanted to vote for Gore might have actually voted for
Buchanan.
=
Fallen Democrats are fools to conclude damage wasn't to both of
them. The name of happy Republican rival, George Bush, was involved
too. We win!
Richard Brodie with:
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth
souls is wise.
=
The fruit of sin entails a tree of guilt. Oh, he who deserts the
faith is unwise.
Richard Brodie with:
Charles Wells, Leander Shaw, Major Harding, Harry Anstead, Barbara
Pariente, Fred Lewis, Peggy Quince
=
Hard American president job quandry? Hire a few sharp lawyers!
We're in a strange, garbled legal clash.
Jon Gearhart with:
The heart-warming story of one
man's heroic struggle to return
millions of fish sticks to the sea
Strange stories and pix - enjoy
=
Please, retch, don't write to this ng
In here it's anagrams only
No sex film tit rooters
Fucking huge hooters
Nor fat arses so jismy
Ralph Musco with:
"If the will of the people is to prevail Al Gore should be
awarded a victory in Florida, and be our next President of the
United States."
=
On behalf of Tipper and all the idiot liars, I've decided that
we won in Florida's vote. Our next leader-to-be is Gore. Trust
us. Feel happy?
1st - Andrew MacCormack with:
George "Dubya" Bush =
Boy, he'd bugger USA.
2nd - Jaybur with:
Sir Michael Caine =
Ah, is cinema relic!
3rd - David Bourke with:
The President of The United States of America, George Walker Bush =
Takes power after foe, Mr. Clinton... but gee, he's sure a shitheaded git!
David Bourke with:
Gore/Liebermann =
Minge? Real boner!
Dan Fortier with:
Ralph Nader =
Plan harder!
Jon Gearhart with:
Harry Anstead's =
A hard ass entry!
Richard Grantham with:
The Antichrist =
It's in Thatcher!
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Daniel T. Cabrera =
Lacerated brain.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Silvio Berlusconi =
Invisible colours.
Rick Rothstein with:
Colonel Sanders =
Sells racoon "end".
Rick Rothstein with:
William F. Buckley =
I'm well, I fuck ably.
1st - Mick Tully with:
Flanders Fields =
Sad, friends fell.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Palm Beach, Florida =
Al? Bad place for him...
3rd - Brad Williams with:
Pontiac Parisienne =
Nipponese car, I ain't.
Richard Brodie with:
Palm Beach County, Florida, USA =
A fat Daley; such a public moron!
Clio with:
Uckfield =
Duck life!
Jaybur with:
The Sunshine State =
Thus heat's intense.
Jaybur with:
Spain and Portugal =
Sunlit propaganda.
Meyran Kraus with:
Palm Beach, Florida =
A half-morbid place.
Graham Perkins with:
Palm Beach, Florida... ~
bailed Al for champ.
Graham Perkins with:
Netscape Messenger =
Sent me screen pages.
Mick Tully with: [His car]
Ford Granada =
For a grandad...
1st - Richard Grantham with:
What shall we do with the drunken sailor? =
We'll rush in, soak the old hand with water.
Rare old wino? We think we'd lash that lush!
Swill, hah? OK, hold that swine underwater!
O, we rut that dill so hard when he walks in!
We'll shit on that wanker's head. (How lurid!)
2nd - Rick Rothstein with:
Used car salesman =
Rude men, as a class.
A damn useless car.
Alas! Scams endure.
A damn sale's curse.
Resumes a scandal.
3rd - William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
The Republican National Committee =
The inept ballot count: America mine!
Bump the total in American election!
Patient, me? I machine-recount ballot!
Recount the ballot? I'm an emetic pain.
Wayne Baisley with:
The England Rugby Union Team =
A Healey, grunting, not numbed.
Leonard -- Unbenign, meaty thug.
Nutty human being: Leonard, e.g.
Unmentionable thuggery, Dan?
Richard Brodie with:
Palm Beach County, Florida, USA =
O, ballot fray caused much pain.
A fat Daley; such a public moron!
Each old brain may foul up cast.
O, frail may cast a double punch.
Abnormal foul up, as city ached.
Jaybur with:
The Prodigal Son =
Ignores old path.
Or is God the plan?
Oops! end alright!
God! another slip.
Ponder this goal.
The sloping road
Tears: old hoping.
On this page, Lord.
Rick Rothstein with:
Ancient Rome =
Mint era... once.
No trace in me.
Erotic 'n' mean.
Certain omen.
Rick Rothstein with:
Gore / Lieberman =
A nobler regime.
Rare men oblige.
Embroil, enrage!
Rick Rothstein with:
Republicans / Democrats =
Doubles miscreant crap.
Bar accursed simpleton.
Incapable red scrotums.
Bar replaced miscounts.
Superb morals? Accident!
Compare absurd clients.
Rick Rothstein with:
Albert Arnold Gore =
Grr! Notable ordeal.
Angel or bolder rat?
Droll organ beater.
Order ballot anger.
Mick Tully with:
'The Marchioness' riverboat disaster =
O, British secretariat removes hands.
Sort easier? British act, remove hands.
Shear? Treacheries, sad Britons vomit.
1st - Richard Brodie with:
A block
anagram of Psalm 119 in 40 sections
2nd - David Bourke with:
The
Ten Commandments
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
Part of the original press release
for the Teletubbies from March 1997
Richard Brodie with:
[A red-neck conservative litany.]
I like big cars, big guns, and big tits. =
I dig bikes, bats, gigantic girl-buns.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not
some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who
wants to give it away to crack addicts squeezing out babies. =
I own income I came by, by my own work. Don't let sniveling, semi-bald,
affable Demo. bureaucrats' ilk have it, to accommodate every thieving,
boozing delinquent's mama, as the way to get votes.
I don't care about appearing compassionate. =
Act bad? I'm not a pain-outrage poser, as in: "Cope!"
I think playing with guns doesn't make you a killer. =
I kindly argue: Want shooting skill? Keep humanity.
I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason. =
Rachel? Be biased: "Of testicles only." Ovaries, out!
I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.
=
I'm no crazy bigot, but dark is not: "Hey, I'm eminent; I
look divine!"
I don't care if you call me a racist, a homophobe or a misogynist.
=
You chose to say I said torch a moronic immigrant Pole? A fable!
I am not tolerant of others just because they are different.
=
No need to join far-left causes there, by fourth-estate. Ram it!
I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. =
Entree at black Zawadi? No!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you do it in
English. =
"I'm having cheese-fries", I yell, "but omit idiot
alien language, boy!"
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as
a shield for unpopular opinions or actions. =
I chose not to put on childish fronts if I express a real unusual,
odd point. I cheer reason.
I want to know when MTV became such crap. =
Hack music 'n' act born. What venom. We wept.
I know what the definition of lying is. =
See a low idiot with iffy non-thinking.
I think Oprah's eyes are way too far apart. =
A freak? Pay this ho. Say "Operate!" Narrow it.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osborne,
or Marilyn Manson sang. =
Mean Nazi bomb? Gore? Hey, violent song by music idol is no reason
or even a defense. Zero!
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment
than working at Blockbuster. =
A think tank term? Guys to embark on it, investing to buy that
nice gown, and then one B.ull S.hit degree.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or
gods, and they can do it in their schools. =
I passionately regard deity to be good. Oh, recover those rich
rites, and have this holy honoring.
My heroes are John Wayne, Ronald Reagan, Norman Schwartzkopf,
and whoever cancelled Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. =
Frankly, I now venerate shrewd, renowned clique: macho men, a
major general, and darned crazy show non-champion.
I think creative violence makes Iraqis more interesting. =
I see Near East king stir. I nominate clever, hi I.Q. trick move.
I know wrestling is fake, but I still think Magnum TA was a
bad mf'er. =
I like absurd brawling fights: mutant talks mean, weak misfit
won!
I think global warming is junk science. =
No thick ice? Wailing jerks blaming sun!
Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh. =
Wacky likable mongrel adults shun kill me.
I think you can respect and admire women while mentally undressing
them. =
When a manly hunk's prurient eye disclothes a girl: "Dammit!
nice endowment."
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Rev. Jesse
Jackson preaches. =
Hack cleric exhorts: "Justice!" His rants convince.
Why? Where's the pew? What a joke!
I don't care where Ellen DeGeneres puts her tongue. =
Little Anne Heche urges "Sure, go down, enter, deeper!"
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you're running from them. =
Thievery? Hey arrest every roguish crook that sprints off? This
moron? No, you gun him!
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child,
it takes a parent. =
Alas, evil state therapist elite dare to thieve a kid? Actionable
taking!
I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but
please don't pretend they are a political statement and not a
fad. =
Teenage body art isn't deemed a theory, a national platform. An
infected pin prick isn't the test of national attitude. Wash up!
I like hard women, hard liquor and a hard bowel movement first
thing in the morning. =
Hmm... warm tight love-lorn whore on rod, drinking, and a shit.
Man! quite a behind relief!
This month's challenge was to anagram "I am a pretty little Dutch girl" into a poem about a different nationality.
I am a pretty little Dutch girl,
As pretty as I can be.
And all the boys in the neighbourhood
Are crazy over me!
1st - Richard Grantham with:
An elderly Palm Beach citizen,
I leer at my bingo card:
To play it's rather easy, uh?
But *voting* there's too hard!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
I'm a bastard Aussie bitch,
I love to bang all day.
Later, try pet her dirty cunt.
Oz gentlemen cheer "hip hooray!"
3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
I'm Otto, German Nazi lad,
Read plays by Bertolt Brecht;
Pray Hitler is alive each night -
Shout "O, Ya!" nude, erect.
Click here for the full list of nominations in this category.