Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 2000
1st - Jaybur with:
Male chauvinism =
I'm such a vile man.
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Ill Old Man Wins Lottery =
Twenty million dollars.
3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Hotel lobby =
Hot bell-boy.
Larry Brash with:
STOP SENDING ME THIS CRAP =
CRINGE! END THIS SPAM POST!
Larry Brash with:
They are keeping me in a psychiatric hospital =
Larry sent me in. I get shock (ECT). I-I-I p-pay a h-heap.
Larry Brash with:
Mentally Retarded =
alt.demented.larry
Larry Brash with:
Career application =
A police car painter.
Larry Brash with:
Migraine headaches =
Anagram: "I hid cheese".
Art Day with:
Stiletto heels =
Little-set shoe.
Dan Fortier with:
Diet troubles =
Tied our belts.
Richard Grantham with:
A self-portrait =
Pearl of artist.
Jaybur with:
Modern education =
Monitored a dunce.
Jaybur with:
Repayments up =
An empty purse.
Jaybur with:
Modern feminism =
Misinformed men.
Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
Sweep the floor =
Too few helpers.
Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
Airplanes =
Real pains.
Meyran Kraus with:
A beggar =
Garbage.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Holiday brochures =
Shh! or crude oil bay.
Janet Muggeridge with:
The early morning hours =
Snoring hurt my earhole!
Janet Muggeridge with:
Wearing stiletto heels =
Greet townie - she is tall.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Women drivers - deliberately provocative... =
I veer Volvo car. Blimey, we die transported!
Tom Myers with:
Save the rain forest =
A tree, harvest of sin!
Tom Myers with:
They are keeping me in a psychiatric hospital =
Hermit-like, insane, psychopathic. A pity! Agree?
Mick Tully with:
Plushers =
He slurps.
Mick Tully with:
Splicing the mainbrace =
Manic ship celebrating.
Mick Tully with:
Organisations =
So, in, or against?
1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Dame Agatha Christie's famous Belgian detective Monsieur Hercule Poirot =
Crime-fiction egghead sleuth beats a poisoner: "Murder, it has a motive, a clue!"
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Adult Situations, Nudity, Language, Violence =
Indulge in gay education, it's usual on late TV.
3rd - Mick Tully with:
'Vets in Practice' =
Visit cancer pet.
Daniel F. Etter with:
Spike Jones and his City Slickers =
Spins Hitler's joke discs in a "C" key.
Jaybur with:
Star of "The Beach", Leonardo DiCaprio =
Hero of Titanic lad ashore: cop beard!
Jaybur with:
Actor Bill Owen and Last of the Summer Wine =
Daft wool hat 'n' wellies: crumbs, meetin' Nora.
Melaleuca Alternifolia with:
"Golf is a sport!" =
Fool grasps it.
1st - Jon Gearhart with:
South Carolina Republican Primary =
Bush popularity ran o'er liar McCain!
2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
The doctors' medical report says General Augusto Pinochet is brain damaged =
Sad dotty aging murderer escapes subpoena and trial. Go home to Chile, racist!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
The IRA remains defiant on disarmament =
Sinn Fein: I am a mean, mad, hated terrorist.
David Bourke with:
British Nuclear Fuels Limited =
"But I run crimes-hit Sellafield!"
Jaybur with:
The Prince of Wales and the Dome =
Oh fermented cowpat headlines!
Meyran Kraus with:
The rally against Haider =
"Aryan lad! He's a Hitler git!"
Tom Myers with:
"A Brief History of Time" by Stephen William Hawking =
Blemik imef ghiprs wis blawef othnay ryit aehinot.
Tom Myers with:
Darryl Strawberry suspended again =
Player drawn near disaster by drugs!
Mick Tully with:
eBay Kidney Auction =
No bid? Aye-aye, tuck in!
Mick Tully with:
The Marchioness disaster =
Massacre their hedonists.
1st - Larry Brash with:
Does a Scotsman wear anything under his kilt? =
Din not know, Mr. Huge testicles and a hairy ass?
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
A Christmas Present =
Santa's sperm? I retch!
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask =
OK twits, devour wet box. Bad taste if you are one naughty wanker.
Larry Brash with:
THIS IS NOT A SCAM! READ FOR YOURSELF =
Fact: sod rams fist in your arsehole.
Larry Brash with:
The Rhinoceros =
Erotic horns, eh?
ID Letterman with:
Prostitution =
Tourist point.
Tom Myers with:
She's got a great personality =
Stray gas, genital herpes too.
Tom Myers with:
Pain and discomfort =
Companions did fart.
Tom Myers with:
Pleasure center of the brain =
Correlate: the bare penis / fun.
Len Richards with:
A tad foolish =
A load of shit.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
<seecups@excite.com>
Best Flesh in the West Found at this Tasty Site!!
No Bull At This Site--Just Raw and Pure Pleasure! Over 18 Only
http://3626174393/Pluto/aarne
=
I wish a jury of 12 poor, sexually used teens will sentence that
obese pervert pest, cut his testicles and then put 1,837,439,366
tarantulas up his fat bottom.
2nd - Dan Fortier with:
Soundweapon: America's Secret Police =
We see no crime - suspect old paranoiac.
3rd - Ormasyna with:
Private Investors with Unlimited Funding =
Deep virulent nitwits invading this forum.
Larry Brash with:
READING THIS COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE! =
HUNCH? GET A LIFE, YOU ARSE-RIDING CLOD!
Larry Brash with:
30 DAY MONEY BACK NO QUESTIONS ASKED IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED
WITH THIS PRODUCT! =
No spam! End it, foe! You deadshit wino bastard. Kiss this fat
cock, you tiny queer.
Larry Brash with:
Computer Hardware at SUPER Low Prices =
Cheer up, creep, 'til our Worst Spam Award.
Richard Grantham with:
I happened to come across this page. Let me know what you think.
=
A note to the wet spam-hole with no penis: Go ahead, suck my prick!
Graham Perkins with:
Free Promotion! Kostenlose Werbung! =
Porn tour! See men working beef tools!
1st - Richard Grantham with:
There was once a Princess who was searching for a Prince so that
she may fall deeply in love She came upon a swamp where she saw
a Frog. She felt a strange attraction for this creature. She cradled
the Frog in her hand, then she kissed him. At once there was a
huge flash of bright white light and the frog disappeared....
only to turn into a Prince!
She loved him at first sight.... and he loved her back...Yum Yum, Yum :) He thrusts forward sweeping her off his feet. They embrace passionately. Then they pause. She suddenly pushes him back and grabs the centre of her dress with both hands, and immediately forces open her dress, It splits down the middle instantly revealing the most beautiful manifestation of the female flesh: thirty-six pounds of firm tasty mouth watering flesh! He moves towards her, lifts her dress and .................
CLICK HERE
PLEASE FORWARD
=
Once upon a time, a pure, shy, innocent little girl was out in the woods collecting her hallucinogenic mushrooms when she came upon this small heap of spam in a marsh. It was an advertisement for a free sex site, and fetid and rotten beneath the surface, but since it was cleverly disguised as this sweet, shy, 'happily ever after' story and looked pretty, she passionately clicked it without further thought.
If only she hadn't... Within seconds she was transported to the far-off, harsh Wicked Kingdom of the Lewd where she was forced to boff everything in sight - sheer ugly fat people, her ferret, hams, trams, cheesy shop dummies, her dead rabbit, her heifer, an eel, a lamp post, farmhands' festering Wellingtons, flagstaffs, dumpsters, the Army, her heels, her arse, her father...
She had a harsh chafe-rash by midnight and she was dead from VD by three.
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
America's Secret Police
Harassment groups in the United States have obtained advanced
surveillance equipment and non-lethal weapons. These groups do
illegal surveillance of the person they target and then attack
that person with non-lethal weapons. Men, women, and children
with mental conditions are primary targets for these groups but
a person's past history, current behavior, race, and sexual orientation
could also qualify them as a target. Please read about these groups
at the URL listed below. Nothing is for sale. If you have trouble
accessing the web site please email me. Sorry if you receive this
message more than once.
URL: http://ourworld.cs.com/soundweapon/
Thank you,
soundweapon@cs.com
=
Anagrammer's Secret Revenge Plan
Dear Soundweapon,
Hello there, nut! It's quite plain to see this is a passionate plea. All at Alt.Anagrams loved the post so much we're gonna share with the appropos internet provider. I'm sure you'd like us to keep them informed of these illegal activities. They'll probably be contacting to show appreciation, being sure to tell exactly what'll be done and showing how much this post means to them.
In case you're unsure, that's actual sarcasm, stupid fat-headed bastard. A few hours from now your LAN account should be gone, cunt-sinner--closed for service term violations.
Have a nice day!
enragedspamroasterschant@nooneherecares.nowpleaserunquietlyorgetnutscrushed.net
3rd - Larry Brash with:
Hace unos días que estoy buscando la forma de ganar dinero
extra en Internet, recorriendo grupos de noticias,tablones, avisos
clasificados...
=
O no! This is a spam in every language. Trite fools in a lot
of countries send us idiotic dross or coed babe and queer sex
ads or an arcane cancer ad.
Jon Gearhart with:
I joined this company called Alladvantage. It pays you to surf.
Don't get me wrong, nothing changes about your internet activities,
all you have to do is download a view bar and have it on when
you go on line. It automatically comes on when your computer is
on. You can minimize it and forget about it if you don't want
it in your way and still get paid. It only pays 50 cents an hour,
but it pays up to 6 levels of referrals. One direct and five indirect
referrals. It truly pays. I signed up in October and my checks
have been coming in every month. I scanned one of my checks to
prove to you. If you still don't believe, E mail me and I'll send
you a copy of my check. the more people you refer, the more money
you can make. Again you do not have to use it in anyway. You do
not have to purchase anything at all. It is completely free to
sign up. You do not have to sell anything. To join, visit the
following link
AllAdvantage.com: Home
or email me for more information.
=
Dear One Privv,
Being an active member of AllAdvantage, you should understand the strict anti-spam policy they employ, which if enforced your account would likely be closed off. If I were at anytime so inclined (not my intention), I could opt to voice my opinion to inform them of your all tooooo annoying activity on alt.anagrams. You've caught me in an emotional mood today. I've decided not to have your privilege revoked. Instead, I'm just going to anagram the living shit out of your note for my twisted pleasure. By sending corny spam on to us, you've shown yourself to be nothing more than a worthless pile of sticky, steamy, inanimate cowdung in a farm field in Wisconsin. Sir, you're not even as valuable as that, o pathetically incompetent lech. Intellectually, you're only a pea-brain. Take a hike, you mentally-handicapped zero.
Love to You,
Jon Gearhart -- Spam Watchdog
myeyeonyou@fornicatingyouinthearseholeuntilyoudie.net
Jon Gearhart with:
Dear friend,
Double your money in 4 to 6 weeks and never lose the money, because
you will be buying always growing shares. OR Make 300% profit
in safe, guaranteed investment. You can not lose here either Or
If you want to get paid simply for being on-line or reading e-mails,
than visit my site for the details.
Go to:
http://my.treeway.com/netincome.
There you will find these and other amaizing money making opportunities that exist on the Web today. You could win $100,000 in FREE LOTTO!
Check out my site now. Do not waste your time and money.
Happy surfing.
Peter
=
Hi, misguided one!
Is your name REALLY Peter? Yes? Why how fitting, seeing how you want to screw us! Instead of sending in OUR hard earned money, why not cough up the wishy-washy spammer fee I've established of $400,000 or have your account closed, ok yo-yo? O, it is too steep to take yet? Try our convenient EZ-payment plan of 1 dollar per month. At 600% interest, it'll only take until sometime in the next millennium. By using option number two, you agree to my take--growing fee I get of 3 percent (after I add in interest).
iminabadmood@goawaylamebrainorbefried.net
Richard Grantham with:
I joined this company called Alladvantage. It pays you to surf.
Don't get me wrong, nothing changes about your internet activities,
all you have to do is download a view bar and have it on when
you go on line. It automatically comes on when your computer is
on. You can minimize it and forget about it if you don't want
it in your way and still get paid. It only pays 50 cents an hour,
but it pays up to 6 levels of referrals. One direct and five indirect
referrals. It truly pays. I signed up in October and my checks
have been coming in every month. I scanned one of my checks to
prove to you. If you still don't believe, E mail me and I'll send
you a copy of my check. the more people you refer, the more money
you can make. Again you do not have to use it in anyway. You do
not have to purchase anything at all. It is completely free to
sign up. You do not have to sell anything. To join, visit the
following link
AllAdvantage.com: Home
or email me for more information.
=
You can intensely annoy everyone you know using my irritating
and completely moronic little banner! I sure am hoping you will
give it a try.
If you sign up, in no time at all your friends will be personally
inviting you to deep-fry and consume your own testicles without
first removing them from your body! And if you nominate to pass
on the mood of joy to THEIR friends too, then another level too,
and another - all the way up to the 6th degree (theoretically
everyone on the planet, you see) - you will soon see what a 'lynch
mob' is! And find fascinatingly innovative and bizarre rectum-focused
applications for a pool cue, too! (Not involving vaseline, but
possibly involving chalk. And death.)
In the meantime, I make a mint and you receive 0.5 cents a day. (Though I am a nice accommodating old twat - I may let you have a fraction more, too, if you plead pathetically. You dog.)
Come on, just give it a go!
A handy demo at fatpooeyarse.com/dupecocksuckers
1st - Richard Grantham with:
America's Secret Police
Harassment groups in the United States have obtained advanced surveillance equipment and non-lethal weapons. These groups do illegal surveillance of the person they target and then attack that person with non-lethal weapons.
Men, women, and children with mental conditions are primary targets for these groups but a person's past history, current behavior, race, and sexual orientation could also qualify them as a target. Please read about these groups at the URL listed below. Nothing is for sale. If you have trouble accessing the web site please email me. Sorry if you receive this message more than once.
URL: http://ourworld.cs.com/soundweapon/
Thank you, soundweapon@cs.com
=
U.S.A. PARANOIACS' CREED
We believe that you are all out to get us.
We believe God has granted us the right to possess quick-load automatic firearms and shoot proper cyanide-laden armour-piercing bullets as part of normal life.
We believe in Roswell and the total documentary truth of The X-Files; that nasty communists are under the bed; Democrats are a tool of Satan; the U.N. controls the puppet U.S. Congress and that President Clinton's an alien with three million squashy penises; the Net's a CIA plot, as were Vietnam, Lee Harvey Oswald, the men on the Moon, women's rights, Waco, 'race hate', Princess Diana, AOL, nuns, photocopiers...
We believe only God's help (or perhaps carrying a huge gun) can save us.
nutters@bunker.com
2nd - David Bourke with:
Stairway To Heaven
3rd - Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 3:15 - "She" referring to wisdom.]
She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst
desire are not to be compared unto her. =
So I hear there's not one rich polished thing that's comparable
to education's unnumbered treasures.
Jaybur with:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you
=
Ears are so gross
Nose is true blue
Lover's weedy
Ta-ra: adieu!
Meyran Kraus with:
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment
by the corrupt few. (George Bernard Shaw) =
What's the better enemy: Mean, torturing, contemptible dictators
or puppets chosen by a coffee-buying crowd? (Meyran)
Tom Myers with:
Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth. =
If hero, take heed! Here the tiny, harmless shall better.
1st - David Bourke with:
Leonardo DiCaprio =
Ocean idol, or a drip?
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Millionaire Steve Forbes =
Miserable if loser in vote.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Calista Flockhart and Portia de Rossi =
Lo, alas for cast, odd pair are stick-thin.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Pierre Yves Gerbeau =
A reprieve? See rugby!
Tom Myers with:
Judy Livingstone =
Tiny jugs on devil.
Mick Tully with:
Juan Antonio Samaranch =
An IOC man on a rash jaunt.
Mick Tully with:
Mark Laity =
I talk army.
Mick Tully with:
Stanley Victor Collymore =
Soccer loony lit my travel!
Mick Tully with:
Sir Stanley Matthews =
This sweet, manly star.
1st - Meyran Kraus with:
France's Capital =
Clean fact: Paris.
2nd - Richard Grantham with:
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! =
Notice Vile, Bitter Bun Taste?
Meyran Kraus with:
Oscar Nominations =
An actor on mission.
1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Does a Scotsman wear anything under his kilt? =
"Wee hairy nuts," said strong lad Ken Macintosh.
Och an' I hid my knees in Douglas's tartan trews.
Lass in dirt, must wash cardigan, ye ken the noo.
Och 'n' laird sent guests in a dram o' neat whisky.
Wish orgasms so I undid the clan tartan, ye ken.
O Scots Highlanders army kit want nae undies.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Embarrassing situation =
Mobs staring as I urinate.
So aberrant it is amusing!
A senior is masturbating.
Assuming it's aberration.
3rd - Jaybur with:
Male chauvinism =
I'm such a vile man.
Ha! muscle: I'm vain!
Hum... naive claims.
Jon Gearhart with:
A night to remember =
Met, began to rim her.
"Bang it to me here, Mr.!"
O'er-tight membrane? [Not anymore!!]
1st - Richard Grantham with:
Lucy in
the Sky with Diamonds
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The
Ten Commandments, each anagrammed separately.
3rd - Richard Grantham with:
The
Night Dances
Richard Grantham with:
The
wren that rages when I sit
Richard Grantham with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation
of a poem by Vincente Huidobro.
Jon Gearhart with:
Little Boy Blue
Meyran Kraus with:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth,
Without any bread,
Whipped them all soundly, and sent them to bed.
=
Oh, rude, evil mom who stayed in a sandal,
Had twenty poor, hated kids whom she couldn't handle.
She made a hot lamb-dish,
Then gave them twenty blows.
(Now she'd be in prison on the death row!)
Tom Myers with:
A teenager, a drug-crazed lass,
wants to be reamed up the ass.
Oil the member a bit,
ram it up in teen shit.
We are free sir, after math class!
-- Tom I. Myers
=
I once saw a phrase made of letters,
by rearrangement it is made better.
The anagram's phrase,
is sure to amaze.
I'm much sure it will beat D. F. Etter's.