Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
The best laid plans of mice and men =
And sometimes blind fate can help...
2nd - Navigator with:
Rome was not built in a day =
Any labour I do wants time.
3rd - Jon Gearhart with:
Hermaphrodite =
Adept him OR her.
Art Day with:
The funeral industry =
Fund "unearthly" rites?
Andrew Denny with:
"Tequila Sunrise"? =
It's urine's equal.
Allison Dunn with:
Newton's First Law of Motion =
F=ma? Lift tons? Son, now we riot!
Daniel F. Etter with:
Kitchen =
Thicken.
Don P. Fortier with:
Spaghetti =
I get staph.
Jon Gearhart with:
Complicated software =
It smelt of a PC 'code war'!
Jon Gearhart with:
alt.jokes.limericks =
Sick rime all jest, OK?
Jon Gearhart with:
Impressive =
Is Mr. VIP, see?
Janet Muggeridge with:
E-mail subscription =
Core is in-built spam.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Optical Character Recognition =
O, criticol character gone inapt.
Tom Myers with:
Extradition =
To rid, an exit.
Tom Myers with:
It tastes like chicken =
It's the cat's neck I like.
Tom Myers with:
Pyridostigmine bromide =
I'm poisoned, grim. Bye dirt.
Tom Myers with:
Funeral industry =
Run fraud in style.
Tom Myers with:
Ticker-tape parade =
A trek, appreciated!
Tom Myers with:
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize =
OK, fine! I zap old liberal creep.
Mick Tully with:
Transvestite =
Inverts taste.
Timothy Wig with:
Anti-Zionism =
Into Nazi-ism.
1st - Mike Keith with:
Isn't Calista Flockhart really sexy? =
She's flatly ill, tacky, anorexic star.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Wilt Chamberlain =
Nice arm with ball!
eq.3rd - Andrew Denny with:
Star Wars, Episode One: The Phantom Menace =
"Space as entertainment? Whoops! Oh dear me!"
eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
"If you or any of your I.M. Force is caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions." =
"Oy, why do you work for official liars like that (congressman or senator)?!"
"I get a fee."
"Your view - unduly icy cold!"
eq.3rd - Graham Perkins with:
Walking With Dinosaurs =
Ah, I know: "Wild Giants 'R' Us".
eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Walking With Dinosaurs =
Ah, so win wild UK ratings.
Daniel F. Etter with:
Eurhythmics =
Heh! Try music.
Dan Fortier with:
Bringing Out The Dead =
Bad night: go endure it.
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Is it an earthquake, or simply a shock
Is it that good turtle soup, or merely the mock" =
Cole Porter - a maitre - cooked this squashy anthem plot. I like its tart humor, guys. OK?
Meyran Kraus with:
Amedeo Modigliani's 'Reclining Nude From The Back' =
Seen 'Naked Girl On Couch'? Mind it. Formidable image!
Keith McAliley with:
The Eastman School of Music =
Lots of notes! Such a chime, Ma!
Tom Myers with:
StarTrek.com =
Smart Rocket.
Tom Myers with:
Three Kings =
Thing Reeks.
Mick Tully with:
Baywatch =
YWCA bath.
Ben Zimmer with:
The Mike O'Malley Show =
They kill woesome ham.
1st - Ben Zimmer with:
Mars Climate Orbiter =
Meter miscalibrator!
2nd - Art Day with:
"Team Of The Century" =
The true fact? Money!
eq.3rd - Daniel F. Etter with:
Nuclear accident =
I can't duel cancer.
eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Another Asian nuclear accident =
Actual chain reaction seen. Darn!
Don P. Fortier with:
How some crimes ruin talks =
The Kremlin, Moscow, Russia.
Tom Myers with:
Yeltsin In Hospital =
Ill? Pity. He's no saint!
Tom Myers with:
Gore moves his campaign =
America's V.P.'s going home.
Tom Myers with:
Donald Trump's presidential bid =
Mindless putrid brain-dead plot.
Tom Myers with:
Two Florida State Seminoles Charged in Crime =
I read field great's mascot now the Crimi-noles.
Tom Myers with:
Akio Morita, Sony co-founder and inventor of the Walkman, dies. =
Afraid a moment of silence is not in order now. Vodka thank you.
Tom Myers with:
Used kilometers instead of miles =
Fluke! Mission to Mars dies. Delete!
Tom Myers with:
Trains ignored red lights =
Not right! Derails rigs. End.
Tom Myers with:
Six Billion People in the world =
Libido now the peril. Sex no pill!
Tom Myers with:
The Who's reunion =
One hour, new hits.
Tom Myers with:
Payne Stewart's plane =
Nasty newspaper tale.
Tom Myers with:
Chechen Market Attack =
Attack merchant? Cheek!
Mick Tully with:
Bovine spongiform encephalopathy =
French ban? Tony: "Vamoose Philippe, go!"
Mick Tully with:
Debonair collapses =
Sob, airplane closed.
1st - Daniel F. Etter with:
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips. =
Which is better to do? Sip thy ol' tea? Do messy cunnilingus?
2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Sanitary towel =
Lay in sore twat.
3rd - Larry Brash with:
"Old El Paso" =
Ladles poo.
Jon Gearhart with:
Groin injury =
Ruin joy <grin!>
Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." =
Gay???!! O!! He was straight! You're a fat prick!!
Marty Hillman with:
Welsh lamb and mint potatoes =
Mad women shit on table. Splat!
Ian Jennings with:
Female Viagra within three years =
Verifies that I am large anywhere.
Meyran Kraus with:
Drag Queen =
Dang queer.
Graham Perkins with:
Throw in causes of retch =
French cows eat our shit.
Mick Tully with:
Single women =
Semen in - glow!
Mick Tully with:
Flattering remarks =
Me frank? Larger tits!
1st - Larry Brash with:
Here's A great place to find everything you need for business and Christmas. =
Send in cash? Gad! Get your very shit-brained spam off Usenet, arsehole-cretin.
2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Please check us out for all you gift and shopping needs. =
(1) Slide the log up ass.
(2) Crap.
(3) Then go fondle a penis, you fuck!
3rd - Don P. Fortier with:
My name is Ron, I'm 24 and I hate getting spammed, so this message is personalized just for you! =
Motto: Get prize inanity from spamming jughead 24 hours a day! Immense ass! Senseless idiot!
Daniel Austin with:
Stop others from using your computer!!! =
Not Microsoft, mouthy pressure group!
Kevin Hale with:
www.chrissummerhayes.com =
Hey! I'm warm scum who screws!
1st - Don P. Fortier with:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
=
Shakespeare's truly grand romantic love poem added seasonal themes:
Told adored maid how her beauty might almost shame that of Mother
Nature.
Lush, really amorous!
2nd - Larry Brash with:
Please check us out for all you gift and shopping needs. We carry
things from adventure trips, art, lodging, gifts, furniture, golf,
cosmetics, herbs and vitamins and much, much more.
=
I'm another bloody uncaring spammer who posts her fucking fraud
to alt.anagrams. I spend lots of hectic hours spamming Usenet.
I sell defective crud, frigging defunct TV's. Hurry!
3rd - Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 20:1]
Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging:
and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.
=
Martinis, whisky, gin, screwdrivers? Tie one on in bars?
I'd avoid these grogs. We need Coke!
Jon Gearhart with:
Self-contained underwater breathing apparatus =
Panted, laps water. Hint: Need scuba gear for air, nut!
Tom Myers with:
Due to circumstances beyond our control, your regularly scheduled
program will not be seen tonight. =
Don't accuse me, but someone really screwed up gloriously. Turned
that nob on, thrilling orgy occurred!
eq.1st - Richard Brodie with:
Tonya Harding =
Darn hit! Agony!
eq.1st - Daniel F. Etter with:
A Homer Simpson =
Mr. Homo Sapiens.
3rd - Tom Myers with:
Senator Slade Gorton =
So large and so rotten.
Larry Brash with:
Nancy Furton =
Cunt or fanny.
Daniel F. Etter with:
Stephen Hawking =
When thing speak.
Daniel F. Etter with:
Mayor Rudolph Guiliani =
Go ruin a Hillary podium.
Don P. Fortier with:
General Musharraf of Pakistan =
He's a nut - Rig for a fake arms plan.
Don P. Fortier with:
Jerry Knaub =
Run by a jerk.
Jon Gearhart with:
Adam Sandler =
Lad's near mad!
Tom Myers with:
Judas Priest =
Just despair!
Mick Tully with:
The Rt. Hon William Hague MP =
Up to hammering Whitehall?
1st - Tom Myers with:
Intel Celeron Processor out =
Serious teen-porn collector.
eq.2nd - Andrew Denny with:
Houses of Parliament =
Is an atmosphere foul.
eq.2nd - Daniel F. Etter with:
The Berlin Wall =
We'll ban Hitler.
Andrew Denny with:
Virgin Trains =
Isn't arriving.
Don P. Fortier with:
Agilent - measurement division of Hewlett-Packard =
Genital - Their "penis" was removed (couldn't make a fit).
Kevin Hale with:
Windows Two-Thousand =
Sod! Shutdown! Now wait!
Janet Muggeridge with:
Hewlett Packard: expanding possibilities =
Install a bit and the PC expires. Go wipe disk!
Janet Muggeridge with:
Britannia Rescue =
Car - it's been a ruin.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Happiness is Slough, in my rear-view mirror... =
Surprisingly we arrive in Hampshire - moos!
1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Porcelain toilets =
To clear piles into.
Lose crap in toilet.
Crap lies on toilet.
Septic latrine/loo.
Note pale clitoris.
2nd - Tom Myers with:
Yeltsin In Hospital =
Insanity? Still hope?
He's ill, nation tipsy.
Ill? Pity. He's no saint!
eq.3rd - Wayne Baisley with:
Four Weddings and a Funeral =
Our Flawed Ugandan Friends.
DUI: Ronald W. Reagan Snuffed.
New Deal Fad: Unfairgrounds.
A Few Gnufoundland Raiders.
Fred Sulfured Now And Again.
Niagara Flows Underfunded.
Diana's Underground Waffle.
Undiagnosed Funeral Dwarf.
A Is For Anal: We'd Refund Dung.
Frau Nailed Down (Sang Freud).
DNA: Awful Dangerous Friend.
eq.3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Reba McEntire's Ranch House =
Reach her mansion: best cure.
Near each other, crises numb.
Inn cares. Ease much, brother.
Combine such hearts nearer.
Embrace her south inn's care.
Combines aches nearer hurt.
A nice southerner's chamber.
No such tears in her embrace.
Has nice cure? Amen, brothers!
Breathes charm on insecure.
Then rare embrace cushions.
Her chamber's a tension cure.
Oh, inn's embrace cures heart.
Wayne Baisley with:
Bradley beats Gore in fund raising =
Bearably feigns drugstore Indian.
Be reassured of grinding banality.
Bundle of beings in great disarray.
Defiles Brobdingnagian treasury.
I'd be fannying about, irregardless.
Wayne Baisley with:
Sligachan Hotel, Isle of Skye =
Lochalsh? Go fly a kite, Nessie!
Collieshangie? Soak thyself.
Sick of all those English, aye.
Ah, yes, I often lick galloshes.
Feeling sick, also salty. Eh-Oh!
Life is Goth-heck, seasonally.
Easy to see flashing hillock.
I sat seeing Kyle of Lochalsh.
Janet Muggeridge with:
Period costume =
Coped moisture.
Met copious red.
Come, I spout red.
Comes? It poured!
Mope: red coitus.
Tom Myers with:
Into the mouths of babes =
A fuss, then hot boob time!
I fuss, then hot boob mate!
Thou manifest the boobs!
Mick Tully with:
Walking With Dinosaurs =
Digital UK show ran, wins!
Ah, so win wild UK ratings.
1st - David Bourke with:
Diana,
The Princess Of Wales
2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Sylvia
Plath: Words
3rd - Dan Fortier with:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the King's horses, and all the King's men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
=
An egg that's sat out on my ledge
My kin hath push'd against unkind edge
Perch'd up up up too tall tall tall
Then... My my my that harmful sprawl!
Don P. Fortier with: [An excerpt from a song by the Moody Blues]
Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colours from our sight
Red is grey, and yellow white
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion.
=
Odd our moon, her hue less bright
She glows with icy, eerie light.
Lovers study her haunted flight.
And what rich romantic words recite.
...a bewitched illusion?
Jon Gearhart with:
Hymn
by Edgar Allan Poe
Jon Gearhart with:
All
that is gold does not glitter
Mike Keith with:
Psalm
19:1-6
Mike Keith with:
My People