JUNE 1999 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

eq.1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Stipend =
Spend it.

eq.1st - Tom Myers with:
Oust Milosevic =
Scum is too evil!

eq.3rd - Earle Jones with:
Armageddon =
Goddam near.

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Self-catering holidays =
Ideal fling? Chores stay!

Larry Brash with:
Armageddon =
Dead - no 'gram.

Richard Brodie with:
1 + 7 + 23 + 45 + 69 + 80 =
2 + 6 + 14 + 35 + 78 + 90 [the equal sign meaning both arithmetic AND anagrammatic equality]

Richard Brodie with:
The Vision of Escaflowne? =
Cheats on wife? Sin of love.

Art Day with:
Poltergeist =
Let go, sprite.

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Mutually Assured Destruction =
I tasted lust, murderous lunacy.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Inertia =
I retain.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Burdensome =
Bend us more.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Custodians =
Suds action.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Mediocracy =
I, democracy!

Jon Gearhart with:
Discrimination =
Racism in 'n idiot.

Jon Gearhart with:
Institution =
Nut is into it.

Kevin Hale with:
Snow Boarding =
Boing onwards.

Meyran Kraus with:
Orchestrate =
Score the art.

ID Letterman with:
Vampire =
I'm a perv.

ID Letterman with:
Advertisement =
E! Mentiras de TV! [Spanish for "TV lies"]

Marc Macauley with:
Sleight of hand =
Oh, fans' delight!

Tom Myers with:
Hey linguistics fans! =
Nice guys finish last!

Tom Myers with:
The turn of the Millenium =
The run-of-the-mill minute.

Tom Myers with:
The end of the world as we know it? =
Two-headed were-wolf thinks not!

Tom Myers with:
Poltergeist =
Re: get pistol.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Nuclear weapons =
A plan we curse on.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Thirteen minus one =
Nine in sum to three.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
The policeman =
A cop in helmet.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Devotionalism =
Damn, I love it so!

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Bitter memories =
It is to remember.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
The politician =
Hot tip: I can lie.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
The supermodels =
Oh let 'em dress up!

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Opportunity =
Pop in, try out!

Mick Tully with:
"I'd like to buy the world a Coke..." =
Weird bellyache took out kid.

Mick Tully with:
Chinese fast food =
Ethnic food's safe?


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
Sydney Pollack's Tootsie =
Testicles on lady? Spooky...

eq.2nd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
James Dean & Natalie Wood in Rebel Without a Cause =
Audiences saw both in awe: a Romeo and Juliet tale.

eq.2nd - ID Letterman with:
Monty Python's "Life of Brian" =
Nifty info (blasphemy or not).

Dan Fortier with:
Star Trek Insurrection =
Treason turns trickier.

Meyran Kraus with:
The Playboy Centerfold =
Tall honey, perfect body!

Meyran Kraus with:
The Cinema Audio Society =
Hey, I do acoustic matinee!

ID Letterman with:
Tarzan sings =
Stanzas ring.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
The Champions League =
Eh, men, the goal is a cup!


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
The British Royal Wedding at Saint George's Chapel, Windsor =
Two rising 'English Trash', Edward & Sophie, celebrating today.

2nd - Mick Tully with:
Andre Agassi wins French Open =
Ace's forehands reap winnings.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
The House Gun Bill =
One huge bullshit.

Carl Anderson with:
Russians in Kosovo =
So USSR invasion OK?

Carl Anderson with:
They cloned human embryos! =
There by such loony madmen.

Daniel Austin with:
Milosevic accepted International peace deal =
Deepened political violence? Castrate maniac!

Jon Gearhart with:
Payne Stewart wins the U.S. Open =
News. Reason why? See tap in putt.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Municipal Elections in Spain =
Politicians mince Peninsula.

Tom Myers with:
Back to school at Columbine =
Check out bomb allocations.

Tom Myers with:
Airstrike suspended =
Undertaker is pissed.

Tom Myers with:
The Pope falls =
Help Pole fast.

Tom Myers with:
The Stephen King motorway accident =
That is known "Pet Cemetery" dog. Chain!

Mick Tully with:
Hurricane Season =
Insurance ashore?

Mick Tully with:
Pakistan downs Indian planes =
Inland peaks and snow? It's pain.

Mick Tully with:
The Queen's Birthday Honours List =
Tony Blair sends this queue to HRH.

Mick Tully with:
Sophie's honeymoon =
Yo-ho-ho! Sip on semen.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - ID Letterman with:
Ugly, stupid flesh =
Delightful pussy.

eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Another satisfied customer =
Rotate inside her; Cum so fast.

eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
CUM VISIT US FOR SOME HOT HORNY TEEN FUCKING!! =
Enormous cunt? Oh, mouth five sticky fingers!

Jon Gearhart with:
Fred Schumaker =
Fucks me harder!

Jon Gearhart with:
A mass orgy =
Say, "Orgasm!"

Mike Keith with:
A nasty name for a nasty thing =
He's in a tangy matron fantasy.

Tom Myers with:
Valuable lesson =
Value one's balls.

Tom Myers with:
Hard core porn star =
Can't spread? Horror!

Tom Myers with:
Voice of the nation =
Have coition often!

Tom Myers with:
I have a large penis =
He is plain average.

Tom Myers with:
Michael Jackson suffers exhaustion =
Hassle! Junior suck-off the sex-maniac.

Son Hong Nguyen with:
The bride and groom =
Bedroom night, dear!

Mick Tully with:
ADULT MATERIAL =
Meat ritual, lad.


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
WHAT MAKES US SO SPECIAL?????

We process over $4 Billion in credit card transactions every year.
We have over 100,000 merchants online and growing.
We offer secured on-line real time transactions.
We offer 24 hour customer service 7 days a week in 17 different languages.
We offer complete training and installation through our technical support group.
We offer a life time warranty and unlimited upgrades.
We help make money for your company and your customers.

=

WHAT MAKES ME REALLY MAD?????

Fuckers who are in love with theirselves.
Spammers e-mailing feces.
Low-life wankers ruining our net.
Warts & acne covered nerds posting awful, used stuff to newsgroups.
Eerie Pyramid Scams.
"Our letter can change your life" crap.
A guarantee of "Double your money" or "$40 to $40,000".
Every annoying, coffee\acid\cocaine-user pervert starting a letter with "712 Pure Hardcore Porno Pics of 71 horny women..."

And a final one:

A moronic list I didn't want!

 

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
Take few minutes to read it through and it will change your life only followed some simple instructions! =
Hi, we anagram you fucking online spammers finely. Crud? We don't delete it. Hell, it is worth lots of toil to us.

 

eq.2nd - Mick Tully with:
Great pictures,sex chat, and STREAMING VIDEO! =
OUTRAGE! X-rated spam advertising. (Nice chest...)

 

Daniel Austin with:
CASH EARNING OPPORTUNITY =
Hi! A corrupt annoying pest...

 

Daniel Austin with:
UNBELIEVABLE $0 TO $50,000 IN 90 DAYS =
You'll be naive! As in debt $5000-$9000.

 

Daniel Austin with:
IT DOES WORK! JUST GIVE IT A CHANCE!! =
A cute joke, advertising cow shit.

 

Larry Brash with:
READ this! You will be rich =
Cried: "Hi, shit, we'll bar you!"

 

Larry Brash with:
Please don't discard this notification =
This load is definite crap. I don't act, son.

 

Larry Brash with:
Ghost Voices : Yakima Indian Myths, Legends, Humor and Hunting Stories =
Hi, this UCE advertisement anagrams to ghoulish synonyms. No kidding!

 

Gordon Charlton with:
For Nasty Sex links visit =
Sex violins? Stinky farts?

 

Daniel F. Etter with:
Shelly Beaudoin =
Heal by delusion.

 

Jon Gearhart with:
Pirate Password Links Below (check 'em out before the page dies) =
Go fuck a sheep and rot, Bo Peep! Blow me, ewe ass-shit licker! --Tired. :)

 

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
"Start your business from home today" =
Fry Mr! Butter in ass at sodomy house? O!

 

Son Hong Nguyen with:
Financial freedom today =
Mad fool farce. Nay, I end it.

 


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with:
Preamble to the United States Constitution

 

eq.2nd - Jon Gearhart with:
Confucius said, "To know that we know what we know, and that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge."
=
"To not know what we do know, and we know that we know that we do not know;
Is that true knowledge?"
Confucius said, "WHAT?!?"

 

eq.2nd - Mike Keith with:
I used to have
A liking, regard, admiration, fancy, unsearchable highs,
Affection, attachment, yearning for, passion,
Devotion, fervor, enthusiasm, idolatry.

I used to cherish, adore, sing your beauty, dote,
Be smitten - so smitten! - charmed, bewitched.
Ooh I shook, I was bitten, amatory, ill-in-love,
Swirling, soaring, sorrowless, alive, well.

I, hero?
Ask them if I loved you.

=

What I now have is
Disaffection, disfavor, enmity, anomisity,
Umbrage, a grudge, a high dudgeon, bitterness of spleen,
Ill blood, acrimony, malice, a wish for revenge.

I hate, detest, abominate, abhor, loathe
Recoil at, shudder at, shrink from, see with horror,
Revolt against, scowl at, disrelish, dislike,
Conceive an aversion to you.

You stink in my nostrils.
I hate you.

 

Larry Brash with:
What a piece of work is a man!
How noble in reason!
How infinite in faculty!
In form and moving how express and admirable!
In action how like an angel!
In apprehension how like a god!
The beauty of the world!
The paragon of animals!
=
Hamlet, in a Shakespearean masterpiece, wonders about humankind. "Wow! Excellent one-off brain. Wow! Clever, deity-like in animation! Whoa! Top organism in a raffish Earth! Good, holy, non-plain. No fib? Ah! No! Hiding a whooping flaw."

 

Larry Brash with:
I was only posting a test -- I have no interest in this dumb newsgroup. =
'n' I'm a rude arsehole who abuses one's witty posting. PS. Inviting TNT.

 

Richard Brodie with: [Proverbs 31:15]
She riseth also while it is yet night,
and giveth meat to her household,
and a portion to her maidens.
=
She stirs prior to the dawn;
she easeth all my hunger.
Oh! I'd diminish the diet.
An ovation to thee, O gal!

 

ID Letterman with:
I see said the blind man to his deaf friend as he walked into a tree! =
"I don't see, and if I talk he hears not." "Beware! An elm! Hide fast!... I sided."

 


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Larry Brash with:
Milosevic =
'Cos I'm evil.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Gorgon Medusa =
"God! Her mug!"... a stone.

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Texas Governor Bush =
Gun voter abhors sex.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
Tally ho! NATO ran in, lynch Serb!

Wayne Baisley with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
Balls annoy HRH? Certainly not!

Wayne Baisley with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
Lancastrian blent holy, horny.

Larry Brash with:
Peter Tosh =
There's pot.

Ron Clark with:
Dean Martin =
Innate dram.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Christian Amanpour =
Humanitarian corps.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Peter Tosh =
He protest.

ID Letterman with:
Gordon Robert Charlton =
Born to hang. Cold terror!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Hans Holbein the Younger =
Henry Eighth, "O lob us Anne."

Tom Myers with:
The First Lady =
Hardy leftist.

Tom Myers with:
Paula Corbin Jones =
Incur a nose job pal!

Len Richards with:
Screaming Lord Sutch =
Scratch M'Lord Genius.

Mick Tully with:
Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill =
CNN: 'Iron curtain - world's hell', speech.

Mick Tully with:
Hillary Rodham Clinton =
I roam, hold NYC in thrall.

Mick Tully with:
Ainsley Harriot =
Hairstyle? NO 'air!

William Tunstall-Pedoe with:
Norman Lamont =
Not normal man.


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Son Hong Nguyen with:
Eastern Asia =
It's near a sea.

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The American Society of Cinematographers =
It's a cameramen force- they're shooting a pic!

3rd - Mick Tully with:
"Animal Hospital" =
Oh! Limp Alsatian.

Larry Brash with:
The Richter Scale =
Circles the Earth.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
The RC Diocese of Argyll and the Isles =
Lass' legs led to hierarchy defection.

Kevin Hale with:
The Olympic Games =
Mighty leap comes.

Mick Tully with:
The Beaufort Scale =
See a fart belch out!


THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Meyran Kraus with:
A Penthouse Centerfold =
No clothes? Nude, fare pet!
Pose half nude? Not erect!
Pose nude? Cheer- not flat!
See a cunt, fondle her top.

2nd - Son Hong Nguyen with:
Slobodan Milosevic =
Slavic blood is on me,
So I led Slavonic mob.

eq.3rd - Richard Brodie with:
Mental institution =
Limitation: ten nuts. [a small facility]
Let out instant I'm in. [lenient policy]
Not emit until saint. [strict policy]

eq.3rd - Tom Myers with:
Arrest Milosevic =
Victims real sore!
More vile racists.
Overt lies, racism.
More racist evils.
Veto liar's crimes.

Jessica Arts with:
Suppository =
Piss! Your pot.
Out, soppy sir!
Is rosy up top?
Oy! So, strip up.
Yo! I supports?
Is rusty poop.

Jessica Arts with: [What the boss says, followed by a translation]
Performance Evaluation =
Crap! Naive, numerate fool. [So you expect a raise just because you did good?]
Favorite manual on creep. [Yes, we do keep tabs on when screwups happen.]
Crap! O Man! A vile fourteen. [Out of 100%, of course.]
One comparative funeral. [Oh, oh, now you're in deep shit.]
Place manure on favorite. [Sucking up doesn't always work, eh?]
A parametric uneven fool. [No perks for you!]
Crap! Evaluate fine moron. [Never can find good workers nowadays, sigh.]
O man! Fair over petulance. [Do I just evaluate this one as average, or listen to the bitching later?]
Never! A foul emancipator. [Now you, I hate.]

Wayne Baisley with:
Information superhighway =
I may refashion throwing up.
No other humping way is fair.
Ruining the way of aphorism.
The aroma of sirupy whining.
The unpromising way of hair.
Who are you, fainting shrimp?
Yahoo! misinferring "what up?"

Wayne Baisley with:
Anthony Charles Lynton Blair =
Any chart enthralls loony bin.
Bonny rally chant: Honest Liar!
Born analytically shorn, then?
Crayons No. Ten hall labyrinth.
Notably shrill No. Ten anarchy.
Thar'll be national synchrony!
Thatcher no-balls royal ninny.
All constantly horny. In rehab.
Banally centralish, not horny.
Best nonchalantly horny liar.
Canny balls on the horny trail.
Canny in all horny betrothals.
Early on, a bonny snatch thrill.
Halt tyrannical horny nobles.
Hello, Tory birth canal's nanny!
Lancastrian blent holy, horny.
Nylon balls in that horny race.

Larry Brash with:
Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy =
Oh! My brain's not coping. Have feel, pop.
Brain's gone floppy. Oh, havoc. Me inept?

Larry Brash with:
Ghost Voices: Yakima Indian Myths, Legends, Humor and Hunting Stories =
His mind's thinking very scary tales. Good God! An amusement? Oh, I shun it!
Hi, this UCE advertisement anagrams to ghoulish synonyms. No kidding!

Richard Brodie with:
If you don't like the way I'm driving,
you can call 1-800-EATSHIT =
O! I'd notify that evil wheel maniac.
Try dialing 1-800-YOUSUCK
Enemy swine in that road hog activity,
I'll dial 1-800-FUCKYOU

Daniel F. Etter with:
Genital Herpes =
The large penis.
Hate leper sign.
Help greet a sin.
Gather in sleep.
Sing! Heal peter!
His gentle rape.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Thirty five years old =
Derive a filthy story:
Sorry, filthy deviate.
Destroy, vilify Earth!
Diversify earthy lot!
Everyday, I sort filth;
I defray thirsty love,
do very filthy satire!
A very dirty ol' fetish.
I've trod shy arty life.
Live thirty?! So frayed!
Forty? Hysteria! Devil!
Advisory? Feel thirty.
Thy virile fade story.
Life story had verity.
(So very filthy tirade!)

Daniel F. Etter with:
Mediocrity =
Idiocy term.
Me cry, "Idiot!"
I do emit cry.
Micro-deity.
I come dirty.

Jon Gearhart with:
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle =
O, I, a sleuth, 'n' Dr. carry on.
An old "Author!" cry risen.
I can roar "Yon Dr.; Sleuth."

Jon Gearhart with:
Stipend =
Send tip.
Spend it.
Tips end.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Helicobacter pylori causes ulcers =
Treacherous, creepy bacillus coils.
Hypocritical urease obscures cell.
Bacilli cohere. Urease's locus: crypt.
Crypt houses bacilli. Release occur.
A crypt core houses recluse bacilli.
O! Crypts house recluse bacilli race.
Poor cells issue cyclic breath-urea.
Lousy bacteria coerce, push cell, Sir!
Licorice use heals ulcer. Opt by scar.
A sclerotic cure heals biopsy ulcer.
A biopsy ulcer heals. Reticles occur.
Bacteria precociously usher cells.
Cells precociously usher bacteria.
Bacteria usurp cell choices, sorely.
Bacteria pierce our shy cell's locus.

Tom Myers with:
The First Lady =
Hardy leftist.
Firstly hated.
Slithery, daft.

Tom Myers with:
Stimulation =
I am into lust!
I mount tails.
Limit to anus.

Tom Myers with:
Must be playing in your alphabet soup =
But senile yuppy boils-up hot anagram.
Buy, boil-up, hunt, eyes pop! Anagram list!
Buy, boil-up, hunt lots. Yippee anagrams!

Tom Myers with:
Hidden toilet videos =
The idiot even dildos!
Then do evil oddities.


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Mike Keith with:
The Raven

 

2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
The Little Boy and the Old Man

 

3rd - Mike Keith with:
A simultaneous anagram and approximate translation of an excerpt from Dante's "Inferno".

 

Daniel Austin with: [Macbeth, II, i, 33-39]
Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee:
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A dagger of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
=
Hi, I'm Romeo. Macbeth is hallucinating. He sees a blade that he wants to pierce Duncan with. Fortunately, for the Scottish Duncan, it isn't real... eerie, God! He needs to remove blood from his detested regal enemy in a fatal gash to his heart. Fight, hero! Go get the evil bastard! (Fee to peep).

 

Jon Gearhart with:
The Hunting of the Snark: an Agony in Eight Fits

 


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