MARCH 1999 NOMINATIONS

Anagrammy Awards > Nomination Archives > 1999


THE GENERAL CATEGORY

1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
So what is my Intelligence Quotient, please? =
You get 'nil' in select Mensa test: low IQ. Hi, ape!

eq.2nd - Art Day with:
African elephant =
Flap a ten-inch ear.

eq.2nd - James Schraven with:
A general nomination =
Anagram it on one line.

Wayne Baisley with:
Stained reputation =
Pride's attenuation.

Richard Brodie with:
Tooth hurtee =
The rot, eh? Out!

Art Day with:
Madeira wine =
Wire a maiden.

Jon Gearhart with:
Suspended animation =
i.e. suspend damnation.

Jon Gearhart with:
Ridiculous =
I? Ludicrous!

Paal Kristen Hansen with:
Breaking and entering =
Began in kindergarten.

Earle Jones with:
Christian fundamentalists =
Nuns and theatrical misfits.

Meyran Kraus with:
Suffering =
Grief's fun.

Meyran Kraus with:
Police Brutality =
Typical blue riot.

Meyran Kraus with:
Verse Composition =
So, I contrive poems.

ID Letterman with:
Go and sin no more =
In a sermon on God.

ID Letterman with:
The swallows return to Capistrano =
To warrant worthless speculation.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Invisible anagrams =
A raving lesbianism.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Radical =
Liar, cad!

Tom Myers with:
Sport utility vehicles =
Chevy perilous, it tilts.

Tom Myers with:
Flesh eating bacteria =
Gee, fatal British acne!

Tom Myers with:
Crimes against humanity =
Hate, racism: many using it.

Matthew Westcott with:
Gliding School =
Colliding... gosh!


THE ENTERTAINMENT CATEGORY

1st - Jon Boehnker with:
Disney's "The Lion King" =
Enlighten noisy kids.

2nd - Larry Brash with:
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. =
Tony's sham tribute - "Ciao, ciao, Emperor!"

eq.3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Director Stanley Kubrick is dead =
I created dark tricks by delusion.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Monty Python's Flying Circus =
Ring? Psychotic, mostly funny.

Wayne Baisley with:
Whoopi Goldberg is Caryn Johnson =
Whoopi Goldberg is Johnny Carson!?

Jon Boehnker with:
Australian rules football =
Alas! Brutal relations. Foul!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Easy listening =
Tensing easily.

Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Marilyn Monroe in "The Misfits" =
I'm into horses, men, in arty film.

ID Letterman with:
Beethoven's Appassionata =
A piano's beat stops Heaven.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Elgar's Enigma Variations =
Originates live anagrams.

Len Richards with:
She Who Must Be Obeyed =
Who Hubby Does Esteem.


THE TOPICAL CATEGORY

1st - Tom Myers with:
Warning to Milosevic =
Violent war is coming!

2nd - ID Letterman with:
Around the world in nineteen days =
Hey! Sudden international wonder!

eq.3rd - Kevin Hale with:
European Commissioners =
Means so superior income.

eq.3rd - Mick Tully with:
Joe Ashton, Labour MP for Bassetlaw =
Halt a masseur's pro blow-job, fat one.

Larry Brash with:
North Atlantic Treaty Organisation =
Lo, reacting to a shitty, arrant nation.

ID Letterman with:
Yehudi Menuhin lays down his bow =
Uh... Shiny wind blows on a humid eye.

ID Letterman with:
God Bless America =
Also embeds cigar.

Tom Myers with:
Saddam's air defenses =
Amasses dead friends.

Tom Myers with:
Marine not guilty =
Ugly termination.

Tom Myers with:
Miss Israel =
Islam rises.

Tom Myers with:
Riding on the City of New Orleans =
Final News: Gory condition there.

Tom Myers with:
Spring is in the air =
Is heart inspiring.

Tom Myers with:
NATO launches its airstrikes =
Shakes nationalist recruits.


THE RUDE CATEGORY

1st - Paal Kristen Hansen with:
Life sucks =
I fuck less.

2nd - Jon Boehnker with:
Kristi Lynn Cooper =
Non-perky clitoris.

3rd - Tom Myers with:
Come picnic in the park =
Prim pie, a ten inch cock.

Larry Brash with:
Hormone replacement therapy =
Men may not help her procreate.

Meyran Kraus with:
A Public Telephone =
Tall cube? Hop in, pee!

ID Letterman with:
Broaddrick cries: "Raped!" Effect to die. =
Petrified broad scared of erect dick.

ID Letterman with:
Gastroenterology =
To let go ornery gas.

Tom Myers with:
French Maid Outfit =
Ah, cunt for me? I'd fit.

Tom Myers with:
Vasectomy operation =
Vacate Romeo toy, snip.

Mick Tully with:
Stained reputation =
Intern's to aid? Eat up!


THE SPAM CATEGORY

1st - Mick Tully with:
FREE PORNO PICS =
I prefer no cops.

2nd - John Morahan with:
THE FUN AND EASY WAY TO MAKE MONEY =
Automated enemy annoys. Why? Fake!

eq.3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Totally Free ISP / Are You sick of Paying for Internet Access? =
Net liar? Yes! Stay off an ugly piece of corporate trickiness.

eq.3rd - Janet Muggeridge with:
- Mp3- cutie - http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/Station/7904/ =
Now accept a cool review - cut pathetic timewasting spam!

Paul Equinox Collins with:
Want to know how you can buy brand new merchandise at discount prices? =
No, dork, and I wish you'd not screw with our news. Ace NYC pace man? Ban butt.

Jon Gearhart with:
FREE COMPUTER PERIPHERALS!! =
Free mouse? Trap, lech ripper!


THE LONG CATEGORY

1st - Richard Brodie with: [Esther 3:12]
Then were the king's scribes called on the thirteenth day of the first month, and there was written according to all that Haman had commanded unto the king's lieutenants, and to the governors that were over every province, and to the rulers of every people of every province according to the writing thereof, and to every people after their language; in the name of king Ahasuerus was it written, and sealed with the king's ring.
=
A day short of two weeks into Nisan, the husband of Vashti gave silver unto a cruel Agagite who wanted to kill every man, woman, and child of Mordecai's people on the thirteenth of Adar. So then the charming, pretty Esther, a poor, free teenage virgin who gained acceptance in the royal courts, ventured to flirt with the king, who then, preferring to trust her, reversed the sentence, arresting and even killing the demented tyrant.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
"Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, a cistern full of Chanel Number Five, and a flunky handing me pieces of raw silk toilet roll. But under the circumstances, I'll settle for anywhere..."
=
From the Irvine Welsh novel, 'Trainspotting', a film by Danny Boyle, is brutal, full of "fuck" and "shit", and effective.
Ewan McGregor's remarkable as a Scottish, urban intellectual heroin-addict. Cruel, real; will repel men.

eq.2nd - Janet Muggeridge with:
Yes, it's due time for your dreaded dental appointment - you know the drill. =
Pain midst untidy root end. After wonky teeth pulled, you're demolarised.

Richard Brodie with:
Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne shall be established in righteousness. =
The orders: yank the flake whose business is regal briefing that lacketh in wisdom. The bonehead!

Richard Brodie with:
For by means of a whorish woman
a man is brought to a piece of bread:
and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
=
Watch out for the bad, bad nymphomaniac adulteress.
Be thou far, far from girls of ill repute.
Oh woe, woe, eh? Ass-inine sin!

Richard Brodie with:
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country. =
Fighters wanted for duty. Motto: "Cool in Commotion". A hero elite, eh?

Richard Brodie with:
They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. =
What! Drinking to the extreme? Aye! It's not the way to get healthy!

Jon Gearhart with:
"My very extravagant mother just served us nine pies." =
Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn. Do envy my set, given vexes.

Meyran Kraus with:
Question: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? =
Answer: Two, but leading them in is quite a bitch. ("Fools & Yokels")

Meyran Kraus with:
"To wash lightly, as by pouring water into or over or by dipping in water" =
"To get a thing wet by dripping H-two-O or soap: 'I will rinse your van, Barry!'"

Janet Muggeridge with:
Any twelve people who can't get themselves out of jury duty are not my peers. =
Weepy, weepy Janet. Foul team, they've voted so court hangs R. Peers not M. Tully!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Anagram Genius is like climbing Everest on a lift =
Sign in! I'm a finite inkless verbal gem cataloguer.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Anagram Genius is like climbing Everest on a lift =
"Fell keen linguistic enigma variations," brags me.


THE PEOPLE'S NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Daniel F. Etter with:
John Maynard Keynes =
Hands any jerk money.

2nd - Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Whoopi Goldberg as Elizabeth =
Deplorable bozo wig - a sight, eh?

eq.3rd - Wayne Baisley with:
Sergei Rachmaninoff =
Reach fine "Orgasm in F".

eq.3rd - Ernesto Guiraldes with:
Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio =
I rejoin my long adored man, amigo.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Elizabeth Dole =
I beheld zealot.

Ralph Lenton with:
Grenville =
Revelling.

Mick Tully with:
Ainsley Harriot =
A hearty sirloin?


THE OTHER NAMES CATEGORY

1st - Janet Muggeridge with:
Highlands of Scotland =
Och, hills and daft song.

eq.2nd - Larry Brash with:
Palomar Observatory =
A vapor? Lo, embryo star!

eq.2nd - Kevin Hale with:
The Magna Carta =
The anagram act.

eq.2nd - Meyran Kraus with:
Encyclopaedia Britannica =
Can be a dictionary in place.

Art Day with:
Watney's Red Barrel =
Try Sewer Brand ale.

Art Day with:
Noilly Prat =
I'll party on!

Johnnie Burning Elk with:
Girl Scout Cookies =
Go solicit, O sucker.

ID Letterman with:
Internal Revenue Service =
Unreal reverse incentive.

ID Letterman with:
Palomar Observatory =
Lo! A starry romp above!

John Morahan's dad with:
North Atlantic Treaty Organisation =
That tin satanic gory air rattle - no! no!

Janet Muggeridge with:
Gamma hydroxy butyrate =
Try drug, may mate by hoax.

Tom Myers with:
Enterprise Rent-A-Car =
Rents are entire crap.

Mick Tully with:
Bishop's Finger =
Hiss.... Brief pong.

Mick Tully with:
Young's Damselfly Lager =
O my! Legendary glassful.

Mick Tully with:
Kirknewton Gliding School =
Wing on crooked? Thing kills!

Mick Tully with:
Manchester United Football Club =
Result? Deft, cool bunch beat Milan.


THE ANAGRAM SET CATEGORY

1st - Earle Jones with:
A virus named Melissa =
Invade mass mail user.
Assume mail invaders.
Madness via user mail.
Sue mass mail invader.

2nd - Richard Brodie with:
Kevorkian convicted: found guilty of second degree murder =
Suicide guy fucked! Make life end, doctor? Grr! No! Never do on TV!
Overt suicide guy fucked! Dr. gone amok 'n' record life end on TV!
Dr. condemned! O, I deny cure. Fucker took life on TV. Grave is dug.

eq.3rd - Wayne Baisley with:
Michael O. Backus, Test Control Officer =
Back off the unsocial electric motors.
Belfast Celtic sickroom: Ocean of hurt.
Blocks ultraefficient motor coaches.
Bonus: This crock of electric meatloaf?
Catholicism's left-of-center buckaroo.
Click here: focusable comfort station.
Collaborationist-checksum effector.
Econometrists chock-full of bacteria.
Face-first into the sourcebook, McCall.
Feel the cockscomb for articulations.
Force of habit: Cesium clock rattles on.
Fresh out of catabolic Electric Monks.
Inculcate trick of comfortable shoes.
Lack of crucial income of the best sort.
Lack of thermoelectric obfuscations.
Microcassette chock-full of baritone.
Officious chatterers'll not come back.
Romanticists colour the black coffee.
Sick of all that brute force economics.
Sick of football coaches' recruitment.
Slob-O-Matic force of nature checklist.
So much Torrance, so little Back Office.
That's a crock of Microsoft ebullience.
"Trifurcations" become "lack of clothes".
Uncomfortable lack of ethics, erotics.

eq.3rd - Jon Boehnker with:
Kristi Lynn Cooper =
Non-perky clitoris.
Insert prick? Loony!

eq.3rd - Larry Brash with:
Rumpole of the Bailey =
Poetry? O! I'm baleful, eh?
Your plea? Oh, let me fib!
Pomeroy. The bail fuel.

Wayne Baisley with:
European Commission resigns =
Acrimonious-seeming persons.
Reasoning? Specious misnomer!
So nice, superior. Gonna miss 'em.

Richard Brodie with:
The Millenium Baby Race =
Clue in birth: may be male.
Ah me! "Barely in time" club.
I am in! Celebrate humbly.
Me? Bear him in a cut belly?

Richard Brodie with:
s-adenosyl-methionine =
So they slid enema on in.
Any shit in me loosened.
Done, eh? One slimy stain!

Daniel F. Etter with:
Work schedules =
Lord, such weeks!
Suckers howled.
How cruel... desks.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Tipper Gore =
Ego tripper.
I get proper.
I regret pop.

Daniel F. Etter with:
Seven Deadly Sins =
Dandy evil senses.
Any devils sensed?
Danny sees devils.
Deny sad evilness.
Envy sad idleness.

Fabulana with:
Hostess Twinkies =
Hot Swiss ski teen!
Not his sweet kiss.
Son wish: kiss teet.
Kiss this wet nose!
Hi! Kiss testes now.
Hi! Kiss own testes.
Oh, kiss isn't sweet.
Toss kiss, wee hint.
Hot kiss, sweet sin.
Oh keen Swiss tits.
See skin, show tits.
Tits skew his nose.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Caledonian MacBrane =
Nice men aboard - a clan?
Becalm in a darn ocean.
Bonnie Mac, 'e land a car.

Janet Muggeridge with:
Anthony Worrall-Thompson =
Why rolls not hot, apron-man?
No! Many hot HOT prawn rolls!
Only hot prawn halts moron.
Hot prawn on many hot rolls.
Shorty apron now all month.
Oh no! Partly thrown salmon!

Tom Myers with:
Microsoft may settle =
Most timely forecast.
Mostly tiresome fact.
Fat losers commit yet?

Tom Myers with:
There once was a mighty gladiator =
Monica, "I grow tasty." Glad he ate her.
Want moist cigar? Oy! Glad he ate her.
Stow cigar in toy. Am glad he ate her.

Tom Myers with:
Vasectomy operation =
Vacate Romeo toy, snip.
Tom's cooperative? Nay!!!
Primate notes coy ova.
A toy's private, come on.
Eat on my privates, coo.
Once a toy to vampires.

Tom Myers with:
Police Brutality =
Blue policy trait.
Top ability: cruel.
Be ill, atrocity up.

Tom Myers with:
Hermaphrodites =
Dares opt, him/her.
Re: adopts him/her.
Ram, prod he/she/it.

Tom Myers with:
Everything causes cancer =
Then cure science's vagary.
Research guy sent vaccine.
Science survey, change rat.
Science: can't have surgery.
Survey each science grant.
Research agency: cut veins.
Shun science, create gravy.

Tom Myers with:
French Maid Outfit =
Ahem, for I'd fit cunt.
Ah me! For I'd fit cunt.
Uniformed, itch aft.
Mind that coiffeur.

Mick Tully with:
Kristi Lynn Cooper =
Tiny prick on loser.
Oy, 'sprinter', no lick?


THE SPECIAL CATEGORY

1st - Jon Gearhart with:
Piano Man

 

2nd - Daniel F. Etter with:
What "Plausible deniability" means to various people:

To Bill Clinton:
"Indisputable: I lie ably."

To Monica:
"I stupidly enable alibi."

To Ken Starr:
"Suitable? Libidinal? Yep."

To House and Senate Republicans:
Nuts yelped, "Alibi!? ALIBI!?"

To the other women Bill has come on to:
"Pitiably audible lines."

What Bill wanted:
Ply libidinal beauties.

And finally to X-Files fans:
"Bely stupid alien alibi."

 

3rd - Meyran Kraus with:
Frente: Safe From You

 

Richard Brodie with:
My Very Easy Method Just Speeds Up Naming Planets. =
Venus: Men, plying, spy just dead steamy atmosphere.
Venus: Men made map, say just depressingly hot type.
Earth: Sun's untapped gem vests my need. Simply a joy.
Mars: Spying heaven's dusty dump, eye lemon. Jet past.
Jupiter: Send men up, spy on the madly savage system.
Jupiter: Puny men land? Stop! Heed my savage systems.
Jupiter: Eye vast gassy depths. Memo's "Ply unmanned!"
Saturn: Hey! Endless empty Jovian gap. My! Must speed.
Saturn: She may pump violent gas jets. My! Speedy end!
Uranus: Mighty nasty! Develop my jet speed, men. Pass.
Neptune: My man, gravity's hopeless. Adjust my speed.
Pluto: Passing; very empty. Seems my jaunt has ended.

 

Daniel F. Etter with:
[A group of anagrams on religious themes.]

Amish =
Am His.

Baptists =
It's Pabst!

Pentacostal =
Placates not.

Charismatic =
Archaic mist.

Speaking in tongues =
Not genius speaking.

Gnostic =
Costing.

Latter-Day Saints =
As sanity rattled.

Discordianism =
Is manic, sordid.

Wiccan religion =
Calorie wincing.

 


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